Assumptions of you….things you might not know.

Me at seventeen holding Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Forgive me,

for I did not know you as I had surmised;

silent, thoughtful,

and smiling in the corner

were merely a rippling

long flowed


by Philip Wardlow

When I read any book by an author I like to read the Author’s note and  any forward they may have written. I personally like to get a sense of who this person is that wrote this book. What made them tick…so below are some of the things that might give you perspective into who I am and who I am not perhaps. I don’t know, I will let you be the judge. I for one hate self analysis because we lie to ourselves more than we lie to others. Perhaps you’ll see something in me that I don’t see myself…


My mother had me when she was 29….my father was 59 at the time…He died when I was 12…He was 72,  the age a grandfather should be.

Often my mother would leave our father at the drop of a hat..taking me & my brothers away…we lived in 18 different homes growing up.

Security seemed to be a liquid state to me as a young child…no solid real home to speak of…life always in transition.

My mother signed my older and younger brother  up in the Big Brother Volunteer program at the local college…me I did not get one. She believed I was the adjusted one and didn’t need it I guess.

My older brother William participated in sports and played a musical instrument at school.  I think I wanted to but was never asked by my mother, besides money was tight and he got first dibs.

I don’t really like my family.

I love them but I don’t LIKE any of them…in certain ways I am sure they don’t like me. I am not perfect. I have quirks and issues I am sure,  that annoy the hell out of them….your typical dysfunctional family.

I WANT to like them. But as I have gotten my life together in some semblance of normalcy they have still not to one degree or another.  So I AVOID them if I can because its a DRAG.

Am I selfish?  Should I feel guilty? At times I do.  At others, NOT in the slightest…Blood is NOT thicker than water at times.   AT TIMES you need to live for your self and be selfish….I had to learn that was okay.


I am forty-three…

I hate my age…

And not for the reason you think. I hate it because I really  started going after what I really wanted in my late -30s…which is as you can see is Writing…

I try not dwell on the almost 20yrs of wasted time  of not pursuing it….”OH the things I could have written in that time” flow through my head at the oddest and most inconvenient moments.

But I shut that  annoying voice out and carry on.

Also at forty-three I wish to stay in shape I work out on a constant basis. I have a  sucky metabolism so I must.

I work out to look & feel good for myself,  my wife and any lady passerby on the street who wants to check me out…:)

I didn’t always think I was a handsome person. I kind of had an ugly duckling syndrome. I grew up with a gap in my teeth and because we couldn’t afford  to pay for an orthodontist, so the gap stayed . We also were a poor family that didn’t have the ” cool” clothes or stuff so I was pretty much ignored by other kids at a certain age.

I still have the gap but wear better clothes.  My wife and others have convinced me that I don’t look hideous. I will take their word for it.

Seriously though my confidence has grown over the years with that. (still have trouble with big smiles in I look mean or stoic or something half the time in them)

I always like a compliment….who doesn’t.  So go ahead tell me I’m cute I can take it…:)

I think I will wrap it up here for now….perhaps I will share more of myself in later posts….now you know just a little more about me. I am going to go relax and read a good book now.

Picture 024

7 thoughts on “Assumptions of you….things you might not know.”

  1. Nice thought of a nice man… 🙂 and you are really cute… physically and internally… 🙂 and you surely can take over things you want after all hard work never goes in vain 🙂 Stay blessed 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s