Know thyself


Thoughts flit
through
Confused.
Just yet another
challenge in my
mind’s eye
at the ludicrious way
we look at life
and our singlular place in it
Like we are everything or nothing
to each other with no stratum
of between.
I am perfectly flawed
as are they all.
Feeling special is transient
Go. stop. get off.
Get on. Go. stop. get off
Repeat.
I know I will never be enough
and that’s more than fine
For who wants to be all
to anyone.
It’s a burden I can’t carry
yet its still a desire to
try at times.

by Philip Wardlow 2018

Bohemian Driving Vibes


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My hand is on the wheel, foot on the gas
Going fast fast fast
You’re my fifth gear,
my forward
My flash through the streets
As I’m holding your hand tight
smiling at the speed that
life careens us past
Laughing, loving, and challenging
all the curves.
You’re my girl, my forever future
The woman I call mine
And you know I’m all yours
Pedal to the floor…
So roll down that window and
Let me see that long red hair flying
free down the avenue
Cuz No worries gonna
Find us at the speed
We’re going
No problems gonna
Catch the two of
Us as you sit next to
Me as we coast
The day away
So lean in and give me
That sweet kiss
And we’ll
Let the dust kick up
Behind us
Leaving it all gone
to be lost
Without a care
In a thing called
When.

 

By Philip Wardlow 2018

This Apple Cart


 

Apple Cart 12 x 16 acrylic on panel 300 dpi wm-1

I always want you and I
to get drunk on each other
Not get drunk just to be
together

I want our smiles to be freely given,
not pulled out like a rotten tooth
and spit on the floor

Let’s hold each other tight, but
not so much the air cant get in
or out.

Let’s love without fear that the other one is not going to up and disappear
In a moment when the “perfection” is gone.

Let us let know each other at the most
Inappropriate times and to
have the courage to ask for a hug at
3 o’clock when our world has gone awry.

Let’s pull that Apple cart together and not care when an apple or two falls out when a bump in the road comes a calling.

Let’s just be that love we first sought, let’s just see that same look in both our eyes never reading more or less.

Let’s just…

By Philip Wardlow 2018

Fickle Thing


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Many of my days are good,
rich, full to overflowing
Abundant with love
Buckets sloshing
Passions pulsing
Ever sure, ever wanting,
ever taking of it all
Smiling from the inside
to the out
And I fall to sleep
Cradled in the knowing
Of my perfect world
Right in all its imaginings
Other days, like seeming
clockwork sneak in
To toil, to tire, to pull,
to question me at the what
Of It all.
Waves high overhead crash into me
And I can’t seem to remove myself from this tumultuous beach, to simply
Step back from this seething shore in me and just fucking relax
Give me that! I yell at the darkness
Give me that! Eyes open challenging all
my stupid, blundering thoughts
Head on pillow looking up
At nothing
with fickle sleep not wanting
to come.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

 

 

In Need of


I don’t want to need
for it physically hurts
to need YOU, yet
I want to need you
all the time
Because all of YOU
is never enough.
Fearing the heights,
I walk a tightrope to your kiss
And fall into the netting below after.
Safe, embraced
Still.
Still safe.
Looking up at you precariously perched.
And Me
With intentions to already climb
Up that long ladder once again
For your sweet lips

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Expressing


sleeper (1)

I thought she knew
I wanted her close
Felt it, as I held her
in the night
But when she left
I couldn’t summon
the words for her to stay
because rejection
ran too deep In me
Not trusting my actions and desires
had always been a problem I
thought finally dissolved away
This culprit in many of my undoings
made me believe
I never was in the right
So belief in myself
In what I really mean to you
Is elusive at times
Always that fear of losing
Of pushing you away
By saying too much or not enough
So expressing needs, wants, desires
Has become a small wall
In me.
We fool ourselves at believing
others see us, should see us,
But we are all masters at not
showing certain self truths so well
that we get in the way of
everything that life might
offer us as real and good and
end up with nothing.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

My Dreamcatcher


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She enchanted me
pulling me into her dreams
No moment in time clearly defined
when it came to her
From Iguanas spelled with an E
Hoola Hoops spinning
Trampoline jumping to blue skies
To dancing in the kitchen
…please come see,
all the many talents that reside in her
She’s a spitfire and a rogue,
who doesnt like to do as she’s told
“Mucho mean Maria” takes no prisoners
Fearless of heights, but won’t walk a frozen pond,
Yet, she’ll dance on and on to our
favorite song long after everyone
is gone from the floor.
A tenacious Princess with a kiss
full of spells that intertwine and weave and reach deep into me.
She’s magical, a delicate delight
that’s why I intend to make
her my wife.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

 

Something Wiccan this way comes


 

“Do as ye will as long as ye harm none”
Maid, Mother, and Crone
all intone.
Walk these woodlands,
inside and out
letting your spirit
thrive from bone, to eye, to mind.
This natural world is your playground
so play proud, head tall, breasts out
Be divine and in turn know divinity.
The hunt is on in fair woods,
Strength is foraged first, followed by Beauty unmarred,
then comes Power in the will coupled with Compassion,
Mirth as you dance the fire, Reverence as the trance
takes you in Honor of all that is known and unknown
as you finally kneel in Humility
to your Goddess
conveying nature’s kiss upon
each of your sisters
to seal the spell bringing
to bear the Cosmos
within the inscribed circle
upon this Earth you now
dwell.

by Philip Wardlow 2018

 

 

 

Leave me Be


 

I wake up early
Laying there in the dull
grey darkness.
Aches, pains, tensions, and worries
intrude then.
Some I expect and accept, others I reject.
The rejected ones
Need to leave me be.
Just be
For once.
Perhaps this is what being
is for me.
Has always been
This conflicted contentment
This feared future
Not ever defined
Until it comes to pass
These runaway days
I chase after but they
fade, fade, fade
But I breathe a whispered
fuck you Mr. Future.
And get up when
the sun shines through
into my room.
Kiss you on the
cheek
And enjoy this
beautiful day.

by Philip Wardlow

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Hiking with snark in the beautiful Pacific Northwest 2011 - 2013

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