I know I won’t cry


They say parents shouldn’t outlive their kids, but should an older brother outlive their younger?

Much like a parent, the older brother directs, and protects the course of the younger.

Unlike parents, the older brother can also be a partner, a fellow perpetrator of many a fun misdeed gone awry. That is where bonds lie deepest, where intimate secrets are kept and held between a kin closer than that of the mother or father.

Sharing of sins, and the punishment of those sins, sharing in the joys and adventures that is youth in its whole.

You share a core with that little brother that none may know. It’s unspoken but known to the bone between you two.

To the Bone.

It’s honored, it’s delicate. It’s something that always dwells.

So when you see your little brother, dismal and seemingly damned, fallen and fragile, raging against an unknown foe and miles from the place in him from where he was once was, you know.

Where in the core that you share, now only dwells despair, you weep, and you weep, and you weep in the silence where no sees, because a man doesn’t cry, they simply don’t.

You know you won’t cry as he lies in a casket, all dressed and prettied up. You know you won’t cry when other’s speak of him in passing or come up to you with a hug, and “I am sorry for your loss”

You know you won’t cry simply because you have already cried so much as bit by bit of your little brother was pulled from you, excised with a sharp knife, and put into a blender and pureed to mush.

By Philip Wardlow June 2021

The First Time


 

love
I love recalling the past of  you when we first met, when the Universe nudged me into you, I remember your first smile,  shy but sly, your  first
laugh, full and inviting.  your body as it danced, swaying and in sync with my own.
I remember your eyes looking at me with a lust of a thousand lovers, 
then later with love like a thousand poems 
I don’t want to forget
the first time of knowing you
and everything that pulled
me into those eyes, running.
I want all the songs that are ours
to wrap up around us
every time you walk into the room
I don’t want to forget you the first time.

Because those first times always bring me home to you and I  love you all over again just like the first time.

 

by Philip Wardlow  May 19th, 2021

My Curvy Goddess


She can be full  of fun and frivolity
or a chaotic mixture
of intensity and crazy passion
all in one day.
She may travel a trail in the
dark dark woods
wanting to be pushed against the rough
bark of a tall tree
as the sun peeks
as  I give her a kiss on her pale freckled cheeks.
She’s exasperating as a girl can  be with
adventurous
ideas such as she.
But I wouldn’t trade her for the world though,
for my own world pales next to her
and all her lovely curves, from smile to almond eyes, to her hips divinely held in my hands, oh, and her heart, her heart, the loveliest  curves of all.

She is the softest of the softest, a  woman that needs to be touched, she is a bundle of wanting that compels me to please her, every day, every hour, every moment that transpires.

I don’t wish to let my curvy girl  down, to fail her, to not show her she is everything to me and more.

I adore her. I love her in so many little ways.

I want my curvy little Red always to adventure with, laugh with, & travel the many ways of this life for ever and always.

by Philip Wardlow  by  May 19th , 2021

If I Died TOmoRROW


Kah Thump…….Kah Thump………………………………………….. ……………….KahThump…………….Thump………………Ka Thump…………………..Kah Thump……………….Kaaaaaaaah Thuuuuuuuuuuuump

98.2 Fahrenheat Degrees, 98.1, 98.0 and so on and on, down, down, down, until I am a cold rigid plank, as rigid as a piece of flesh could be anyway.

Call me Rigor, Mr. Mortis if you’re nasty.

As I say this, I realize the parts of me that will live, will go on in pictures, videos, my writings, and half memories in other people’s distracted minds yet still alive.

That’s kinda cool.

Cry at my funeral or laugh…or do both. I would prefer both. Please also drink and dance afterwards. That drunk girl over there though, twerking over my casket has got to go.

Talk about the dumb shit I did, talk about a kind word or two I threw at you, or when I asked you for nudes. By the way, I’m still waiting on one of your butt. When you finally take it, send it UP. Or is that DOWN?

I’m sure it’s UP, I haven’t been that bad in my life;

I have never kicked a puppy, only petted. But I have hit many a pussy in my lifetime if you know what I mean, and they never complained, and I petted them before and after as they purred graciously.

I was kind, immature, caring, needy, a charmer, careless of others feelings, repentant, codependent, then dependent on only me, then I met Red, a magical creature needing a safe harbor and I gave it.

I loved all the magic which poured forth from her, for I saw it had been bottled up for so long and it needed a nurturing voice to keep it flow, flow, flowing. I am content that I helped her find herself and to show her she was always good enough from the very beginning of her life.

I’ve always wanted to be seen as a good person, but it took me awhile to realize you have to BE a good person to truly be seen as a good person; to yourself most especially. After you do, everything else that follows is just gravy.

Mmmm gravy…I wonder if they have gravy UP there?

by Philip Wardlow May 7th, 2021

Flowers Growing


The cold is creeping
as the flowers start
to grow thanks to a weeping sky that often never lets up
Yet the shy sun peeks
eye intent then
runs away as the clouds fly and dissipate their desires and the flowers grow
as the cold still creeps.

Warmth rides the skin, plays
with it, hugs the soul, the
world sees potential in
the what-if, but the cold
creeps into their bones
as they grab and hold tight to
frayed blankets full of holes
But the flowers are growing, can you see the buds, the ground birthing green?

Many beautiful rich colors to come even if the bold cold wishes to persist.

By Philip Wardlow ~April 2021

Mystical You


She discovered me in the darkness, coming to me wrapped in alluring music and
undulating waves of red and blue light, she burst into me
with a beckoning and a proposal to envelope her in
all that was and all that ever would be beautiful
in the universe.
So I jumped,
Fears falling away,
Her soul enthralling
enchanting, calling
to my own that I had
forgotten, and I fell
and fell and fell.

She’s my mystic, my medium,
my witch, and my fortunes
come home to rest
in arms wide open

She’s my princess,my queen
The Milady of my heart

She’s all the magic I’ve ever wanted.

By Philip Wardlow March 2021

This Merry Go Round


Remember that first date?

I took you to the movies at the mall because I wanted to show
you some fun.

I could feel the sadness in you and wanted to show you a bit of me.
I’m all about going to the movies.
I wanted to show you the magic of them, you never grew up in that world, you didn’t see that world the way I did.
So I brought you into mine with
all the eye wideness I could muster.

I liked you sitting next to me in the movie theater, sharing a first time experience of a new story
unfolding on the screen, my friend, my lover, my soon to be girlfriend, then a fiancee, then a wife whether I knew it all or not, you were my destiny coalescing.

When we left the movie theater I pointed at the Merry Go Round and said let’s go for a ride, you smiled and didn’t know what to say.

I put a bright big gold metal token in your hand and led you to the gate where the man took
your token.

You had fun picking out what type of an animal you would ride on. I think I picked a frog.

I took a picture of you smiling as you posed for me on your horse.

Then you and I took off and went around and around, and up and down….

And right then, I knew I never wanted to get off.

By Philip Wardlow- Jan 2021

The Bite of You


I think perhaps I delight in you,
simply because there is a bite in you
a something quite not right with you
In the many fluid ways of you.

You draw me in with all kinds of sin,
but this poor delicate body can only
take so much abuse,
the fear is the itch that I scratch,
as it beckons
I answer, I bleed and bruise
my soul and mind continually
playing the fool of a tool
where your ways rule
ever move
of the day when we play
in decadent forays
of searing sensual
delights.

I meander down a shadowed road
upheaved, trees overturned and strewn about in my way, as a soft bird calls in the distance, beckoning me away.
It’s always the destructive, mingled with the mundane with you.
Drawn to mischief as the moth’s ass
is to a searing flame.
Who’s to blame in this story of us then?

Which of us needs to be grabbed and shaken, to fucking change
to learn to love “properly” in the mind
as the hand still explores the pain.

People are never simple.
All crying onions. Layer upon layer.
Until Time is forgotten.

By Philip Wardlow Dec 2020

Dark Francesca


 

Dark Francesca, they call her.
In the darkest of hours
they say to watch out for the
raven haired one,
for she’s trouble
…oh so much trouble.
Even as she claims
to have an angel’s heart
she’s got the devil’s glint
in her eyes.
Be wary, for she
collects conquests all
the while she makes
you feel you are doing
the conquering it’s
your soul she’s
devouring.
So make no mistake,
steer clear.
And Don’t!
Don’t, look in her eyes
lest you become
mesmerized
Yet even spying her hips
as she walks away.
is enough to enthrall,
with her pendulum
undulations lulling
your senses,
falling
falling
falling
under
as you fall prey.
Perhaps though
if you are lucky
enough, she
may take you home
and simply
use your body up
But if she takes
a fancy to you
more than that
well I’m sorry.
All bets are off.
It was nice knowing you
But there
could be
worse ways
to go
from this world.

by Philip Wardlow November, 2020

Don't let the mystery of you go unknown

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Weaves of the Wheel

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PhoebeMD: Medicine + Poetry

Health • Inspiration • Life

Debatably Dateable

Dating, Poetry, and More

Rust.in.the.Soul

Ignorance is bliss / truth is necessary / rust in the soul

Go Dog Go Café

Where writers gather

The Emotional Being

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MelDouleur.com

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