Tag Archives: life

You think you have me all figured out


A man tells me he knows me,
has me all figured out.
He has got me all encapsulated
in a little box
Man, I don’t even know me,
so how do you?

So please just shut up
just shut the fuck up
Telling me I shouldn’t see color
Shit man, I can only be blind to color
once the world allows me to be blind to it.

I am black, I am a brown, I am white,
whatever shade you would like,
whatever hue, whatever tone,
please ascribe.
Define me, ridicule and deride me,
you will never know the true me
beneath my skin let alone
what’s in these old bones I call my home
because you haven’t held them
and walked in ’em
feeling the full weight
of ’em.
You haven’t begun
to figure me out
But you will one day
as will I.

by Philip Wardlow

May the Journey you Take


Let us all embark on an adventure in our lives,
no matter the fog that shrouds our path,
tread with eyes seeing, stalwart in nature,
as we find the lightness in
every rich discovery that
we may be lucky enough to unearth
on our grand journey
in the magical realm
called you.

by Philip Wardlow June, 2020

Clarity comes to Us All Eventually


Am I such a threat,
such a fear to you?
That my place in this world
must be abated and subdued?

Do you fear me less
when I articulate
myself better than you
or do you fear me
more, in certain circles,
because I am finally
on to you, and I know
just what to do,
to make it all
untangle.

You try and wrangle my words
and even my thoughts to
fit your disposition, as if
by smiling at me, it will cause
me to smile back
in submission.

First you blinded me,
then asked my why I was blind,
then stole the cane
from my hands, struck me, stripped me
then tripped me,
sending me on down the
road, to do my time.

Yet I endured, and even though blind,
I saw with a clarity
greater than the sighted man,
ever could
and came to pity him
and the thought processes
he called an enlightened mind.

Pitied him for the man he
thought he was.
Pitied him for the dark legacy
he had wrought
and the future
to come from it.

Pitied him that he would
never know a moments rest

Pitied him because anger was
all he knew.

Pitied him for the surety of
his place in this world
and at his disappointment
when his end finally came
and my tolerate
smile turned
into
a triumphant grin

by Philip Wardlow June 2020

Two Sides to Me


I was told today to be decisive.
I was told today that my response
to stopping racism was the typical
answer that would never work and
has never worked.

I was told that my ideals were not enough

You don’t think I want to do a Boston Tea Party
on all their asses,
to burn and pillage, boycott and tear down
all the apathetic institutions and cold corporations that
turn a blind eye to the
many colored man,
to turn my back on authority while giving the middle
finger to it all?

Fuck yes. Every damn day.

Yet, I don’t want my world to burn
around me even though
it burns from within.

I don’t want a black old man crying
in the streets because his
business burned to the ground.

I don’t want a white old man
bleeding profusely after
being knocked to the ground.

I don’t want death, I don’t want destruction.
I don’t want hate. I don’t want fear.
I want compassion
I want cooperation
I don’t want division
I don’t want disdain
I want respect.
I want justice.
I want inclusion.
I don’t want any more Martyrs
for the cause.

There has never been indecision in me,
only the resolve
for all the world
to finally
wake the fuck up.

by Philip Wardlow June, 2020

The Dark Forest


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Jump in the river and let it carry you out of the dark forest you are in…

Who cares where it flows if you are already lost….

Fearing anything is inevitable,
so face it headlong at a dead
run.

I hear most outcomes cause
you to grow beyond what you
thought of as a once heeled truth,
allowing you to leave that dark forest
far behind,
as you continue
to flow on, and on, and on.

By Philip Wardlow May, 2020

 

 

Skin Hunger


If you had told me I would have
yearned for a simple handshake,
months from now,
I would have scoffed at such a silly notion.

If you would had said a hug from
a loved one was a distant memory
and that only through dreaming in bed
at night could such an implausible embrace happen,
I would have laughed in your face.

No light touches, no manly shoulder to shoulder hugs,
no holding hands, no fist bumps,
no incidental brushing of skin against
skin in the everyday going on
of life.
None of that.

I am bereft and unaware of the warmth
or coldness of a cheek or simple palms of another,
stolen is the smile behind
a mask that might have touched my soul
as they looked my way in the incidental
happenings of a mere
day.

There is a gnawing
Deep
A pang
Inside
Screaming
A hunger
threatening to consume
To feel
To know
the innocent
intimate
touch
of another.

by Philip Wardlow, May 12th, 2020

We can’t run


 

I have heard many people state over the years, months, and weeks as of late in various media platforms , “Why don’t you just leave your state, or this country if you don’t like the way it’s being run?”

First, I would say, “I was born here, it’s my home.”

Second, I would say, “Some of are us are not so mobile, and not as well off to simply pick up their whole lives and begin anew.”

Thirdly, “What you are talking about is just political self-segregation same as we have had with self-segregation with our educational system state to state across the US over the last 50 years or more. Sure, the Federal Govt abolished segregation at the Government level awhile ago, but not at the personal level with white,  more affluent families choosing to leave certain districts of lower income structures that minorities tended to live in, which later resulted in a higher tax base for those richer suburban neighborhoods while those Urban areas were left adrift,  with a high population density and lower tax revenues generated for their schools.

Also added to that, there were many nefarious but legal state mandates back in the day,  corralling minorities in certain neighborhoods to keep them at bay if you will from the suburban areas and from getting ahead in general.  Because of all that, we now we have many  failing or depressed school systems throughout the U.S. , while other affluent communities  thrive just a few miles away. We then have this polarizing affect of the haves and the have nots occurring across the nation, creating tensions we could have avoided to a large degree.

I  believe familiarity breeds compassion and friendships, as isolation breeds ignorance and fear on both sides.

Black on black crime is the leading cause of young black men in the US and I point to a lack at a chance at a good education,  and also a mental component of the world saying you are good enough to matter being the culprit to all the violence being done.

My whole point is this, leaving a situation, or running from it, WILL not make this nation better as a whole, there are NO borders here in the U.S. or the World . That’s just an illusion we sell ourselves. The bad or the good will always come knocking at your door from everything that happens here in the U.S or abroad, and I mean everything.

by Philip Wardlow May, 2020

 

The Seven Hearts of Her


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A Broken Heart
Love let her down and pushed her aside,
it didn’t keep her company, it didn’t give her a hug
and it never chose to know her

A Passionate heart
She’ll fall into your arms
Into a full on embrace
Warming to a kiss<
To be wanted to be taken
Over and over

A Dear Heart
She keeps a love close
as a treasure finally found after
a millennia of seeking
Precious, Priceless and Dear
as she thinks the same of her own.

A Fearful heart
Eyes wide and brimming
hands clutching, gripping
holding tight
Voice imploring for her love to
never disappear

Empathetic Heart
She pulls the sadness and plights of others within her
exploding with a comforting
balm of wise words and consoling

A Humorous Heart
Raucous and irreverent
with an infectious fun
soul along with a smiling
laugh that others always
long to see and hear

A Delicate Heart
Strong yet brittle
A fighter yet fear filled
Hard willed yet may fall apart
in your arms in a moment

All her hearts want
is to love
and be loved, and not
to be precariously left
upon a shelf
and forgotten.

By Philip Wardlow April, 2020

Everybody is a Fucking Expert


People become afflicted
become sickened
A Mother dies, a Daddy dies
a Brother, a Sister,
a Nephew, an Aunt,
that crazy fun Uncle,
well he’s no longer around.
Yet some know better,
some are fucking experts on everything now:
Epidemiology, Politics
and the Constitution, here
come take your diploma
young ignorant man.
They have just crawled from
the primordial ooze,
but without an ounce of knowledge or true
reflection,
they know the why, the what, and the wherefore
of it all.
Without doubt or reservation,
they string together tens of hundreds
of stories into
a conspiracy of disdain and ridiculousness.
Anxiety now rules an already twisted logic system,
mutating them all into something
new and improved,
The truest most deadly virus of a
a thing called the Fool.

by Philip Wardlow April, 2020