Tag Archives: love

If I Died TOmoRROW


Kah Thump…….Kah Thump………………………………………….. ……………….KahThump…………….Thump………………Ka Thump…………………..Kah Thump……………….Kaaaaaaaah Thuuuuuuuuuuuump

98.2 Fahrenheat Degrees, 98.1, 98.0 and so on and on, down, down, down, until I am a cold rigid plank, as rigid as a piece of flesh could be anyway.

Call me Rigor, Mr. Mortis if you’re nasty.

As I say this, I realize the parts of me that will live, will go on in pictures, videos, my writings, and half memories in other people’s distracted minds yet still alive.

That’s kinda cool.

Cry at my funeral or laugh…or do both. I would prefer both. Please also drink and dance afterwards. That drunk girl over there though, twerking over my casket has got to go.

Talk about the dumb shit I did, talk about a kind word or two I threw at you, or when I asked you for nudes. By the way, I’m still waiting on one of your butt. When you finally take it, send it UP. Or is that DOWN?

I’m sure it’s UP, I haven’t been that bad in my life;

I have never kicked a puppy, only petted. But I have hit many a pussy in my lifetime if you know what I mean, and they never complained, and I petted them before and after as they purred graciously.

I was kind, immature, caring, needy, a charmer, careless of others feelings, repentant, codependent, then dependent on only me, then I met Red, a magical creature needing a safe harbor and I gave it.

I loved all the magic which poured forth from her, for I saw it had been bottled up for so long and it needed a nurturing voice to keep it flow, flow, flowing. I am content that I helped her find herself and to show her she was always good enough from the very beginning of her life.

I’ve always wanted to be seen as a good person, but it took me awhile to realize you have to BE a good person to truly be seen as a good person; to yourself most especially. After you do, everything else that follows is just gravy.

Mmmm gravy…I wonder if they have gravy UP there?

by Philip Wardlow May 7th, 2021

Mystical You


She discovered me in the darkness, coming to me wrapped in alluring music and
undulating waves of red and blue light, she burst into me
with a beckoning and a proposal to envelope her in
all that was and all that ever would be beautiful
in the universe.
So I jumped,
Fears falling away,
Her soul enthralling
enchanting, calling
to my own that I had
forgotten, and I fell
and fell and fell.

She’s my mystic, my medium,
my witch, and my fortunes
come home to rest
in arms wide open

She’s my princess,my queen
The Milady of my heart

She’s all the magic I’ve ever wanted.

By Philip Wardlow March 2021

This Merry Go Round


Remember that first date?

I took you to the movies at the mall because I wanted to show
you some fun.

I could feel the sadness in you and wanted to show you a bit of me.
I’m all about going to the movies.
I wanted to show you the magic of them, you never grew up in that world, you didn’t see that world the way I did.
So I brought you into mine with
all the eye wideness I could muster.

I liked you sitting next to me in the movie theater, sharing a first time experience of a new story
unfolding on the screen, my friend, my lover, my soon to be girlfriend, then a fiancee, then a wife whether I knew it all or not, you were my destiny coalescing.

When we left the movie theater I pointed at the Merry Go Round and said let’s go for a ride, you smiled and didn’t know what to say.

I put a bright big gold metal token in your hand and led you to the gate where the man took
your token.

You had fun picking out what type of an animal you would ride on. I think I picked a frog.

I took a picture of you smiling as you posed for me on your horse.

Then you and I took off and went around and around, and up and down….

And right then, I knew I never wanted to get off.

By Philip Wardlow- Jan 2021

The Bite of You


I think perhaps I delight in you,
simply because there is a bite in you
a something quite not right with you
In the many fluid ways of you.

You draw me in with all kinds of sin,
but this poor delicate body can only
take so much abuse,
the fear is the itch that I scratch,
as it beckons
I answer, I bleed and bruise
my soul and mind continually
playing the fool of a tool
where your ways rule
ever move
of the day when we play
in decadent forays
of searing sensual
delights.

I meander down a shadowed road
upheaved, trees overturned and strewn about in my way, as a soft bird calls in the distance, beckoning me away.
It’s always the destructive, mingled with the mundane with you.
Drawn to mischief as the moth’s ass
is to a searing flame.
Who’s to blame in this story of us then?

Which of us needs to be grabbed and shaken, to fucking change
to learn to love “properly” in the mind
as the hand still explores the pain.

People are never simple.
All crying onions. Layer upon layer.
Until Time is forgotten.

By Philip Wardlow Dec 2020

Live Fiercely


Live fiercely while time abounds,
and stop biting at the bonds
of which you think constrict
you, for they don’t for a life lived properly
and wisely
constructed in the spending.

Hold time’s hand as if as a friend, love
every nature of it’s passing and it shall
slow down and comfort every second
of your days.

Create a world uniquely all yours,
from the infinitesimal to the grandiose
inside or without,  to implode
or explode into a world of your
own making.

Sluggish temptations will always pull at the
the very fabric of you, a quicksand
to drown, a meandering path to muddle,
entropy to trap, as Order becomes
undone and Chaos catches you.
Sleep not with Chaos long no matter how
charming her bed is.

Revel in the importance of your life
love, love, love,
yourself and others
Roll around in that word love
like a dog playing in a
pile of fall leaves,
just being.

Never fear the outcome for a life
you have lived fiercely.

by Philip Wardlow October, 2020

Let me rap on my girl who’s like None Other


I gotta tell you guys
something,
there’s this girl I got married
to…a redhead
just October last.
A little sexiness
wrapped all up
in spontaneous fun
like a toy gun
that you don’t
know when its about to go off
BOOM!
Getting me all undone,
my god she’s been the one
since the beginning
of the meet up
Eyes dark and delicious,
kind and genuine.
Extraordinaria
That’s Spanish for extraordinary,
now I lavish her with the
extra ordinary
whenever we go out
Cuz, she started as my Princess
and I made her my Queen
And she know who the King be,
especially in bed,
where she can just Be
with me, as she let’s
me take the lead
sending her to a little slice of
heaven.
Empathically deep
Evolved intentionally
beyond the word weak
that life
tried to pin to
her early.
She grew and she climbed
always seeking
the sublime
She bled and she wept
she endured
She flew beyond the
bonds of other’s
dead expectations
and found her
own song to sing.
I knew she was a
woman I could I fall in
love with,
was my final thought
After
she walked out the door
of our first meetup.
with me wearing, I’m sure
a boyishly sad grin,
wondering if I would ever
see her again

by Philip Wardlow October 2020

In your Dreams


Let me close my eyes
and softly sink
into you,
my mind intertwininng,
weaving
amongst
your own tangledness.

I wish to sift through your dreams,
pushing away the debris
to see all the fallen wishes
and struck down desires.

I wish to ride the sorrowful
storms of a life stolen,
lost to the whims of the
Others, those demons
which rode you down and snatched
it all away,  laughing,
as if your pain
was just a game.

I want to see all of it,
each and every dream,
everyone,
witnessing it with you
in a tight embrace.

Holding you, I would whisper
that it will all
be alright,
For you are home now,
and your dreams are
safe for I hold them
as dearly as I hold
you now and until
the end of
all time.

by Philip Wardlow September 2020

Two Sides to Me


I was told today to be decisive.
I was told today that my response
to stopping racism was the typical
answer that would never work and
has never worked.

I was told that my ideals were not enough

You don’t think I want to do a Boston Tea Party
on all their asses,
to burn and pillage, boycott and tear down
all the apathetic institutions and cold corporations that
turn a blind eye to the
many colored man,
to turn my back on authority while giving the middle
finger to it all?

Fuck yes. Every damn day.

Yet, I don’t want my world to burn
around me even though
it burns from within.

I don’t want a black old man crying
in the streets because his
business burned to the ground.

I don’t want a white old man
bleeding profusely after
being knocked to the ground.

I don’t want death, I don’t want destruction.
I don’t want hate. I don’t want fear.
I want compassion
I want cooperation
I don’t want division
I don’t want disdain
I want respect.
I want justice.
I want inclusion.
I don’t want any more Martyrs
for the cause.

There has never been indecision in me,
only the resolve
for all the world
to finally
wake the fuck up.

by Philip Wardlow June, 2020

I like the Way


I like the way
she casually calls me Darling
to get my attention
from across the room.
It makes me smile inside
in the nonchalant way
she shows her love for me.
I like the way
she trusts in me to protect her
in any instant,
Hand in mine, anytime;
on a dark street or
in a crowded room.
Even though it saddens me,
I like the way she says
she wants to go before me,
because she says she’s not strong
enough to see me go.
I like the way
we create together these
small places of paradise,
thrown like sand on the wind to drift and drift as we
waft in the hours, minutes, and
lazy seconds
of each other’s company
with no thought of tomorrow.
I simple like the
many ways of you
as I always have
since the very
start of us.
by Philip Wardlow  May , 2020

The Seven Hearts of Her


red-threadtm-seven-of-hearts-luminous-hills-L-OmZZtP

A Broken Heart
Love let her down and pushed her aside,
it didn’t keep her company, it didn’t give her a hug
and it never chose to know her

A Passionate heart
She’ll fall into your arms
Into a full on embrace
Warming to a kiss<
To be wanted to be taken
Over and over

A Dear Heart
She keeps a love close
as a treasure finally found after
a millennia of seeking
Precious, Priceless and Dear
as she thinks the same of her own.

A Fearful heart
Eyes wide and brimming
hands clutching, gripping
holding tight
Voice imploring for her love to
never disappear

Empathetic Heart
She pulls the sadness and plights of others within her
exploding with a comforting
balm of wise words and consoling

A Humorous Heart
Raucous and irreverent
with an infectious fun
soul along with a smiling
laugh that others always
long to see and hear

A Delicate Heart
Strong yet brittle
A fighter yet fear filled
Hard willed yet may fall apart
in your arms in a moment

All her hearts want
is to love
and be loved, and not
to be precariously left
upon a shelf
and forgotten.

By Philip Wardlow April, 2020