Tag Archives: men

The many flavors of little girl/boy lost


 

Foot

Therapists say the core of us, from the defining moments of our youth, make up a great part of how we see ours lives throughout our whole existence through and into  our growing “adulthood”  until the day we die.

We all walk a path, and that path we walk  sprung up to meet us whether we know it or not. Some have found that magical path and place among the trees where they know peace and a solid foundation under their feet as they tread a world still alien.

Most are not so fortunate whether you think they are or not.

Some of us walk it in seeming surety, with one foot right after the other; having all the answers to life at our lips and the tips of fingertips based on what came before.  Those types outright scoff at times at those who don’t know all the answers or have it all together.  They can truly be arrogant bastards; ridiculing the “underclassmen”  saying they will never catch up.

((Secretly)) they know they do not know everything;  no matter what they say. I have to imagine, that need in itself, to have to be sure all the time; it must drive them mad when their world falls apart at not knowing the answers when push comes to shove in their lives.

I truly do feel sorry for some of them.  For I do believe that type of arrogance is needed in the world to get things done. Else many of us would be sitting on our hands saying woe is me and nothing else. But these types must pay the price at times when the chaos finds them in their own mind.  For no one must see them weak you know.

Others  of us walk in a  meandering, stumbling,  almost drunken course down a  path where our footing is anything but sure.   Always needing that tree to lean on,  or that bush off the road to vomit up our urges and failings behind.

Yet, still they walk, for their is a determination in their lives that drives their legs into motion. They are not comatose. They are not in a vegetative state. They breath, they exhale, and they bring in life and let it out in small amounts.  They evolve in their own course;  through the volitions of some inner or external force which they cannot place,  but it drives them, much like the arrogant ones above, that have already embraced a reality and be damned to anyone who stand in their way.

What else can they do in life but to try?  And besides, they can’t look weak ; not to the  arrogant ones that depend on them to prop them up from time to time when they speak.

Finally, there is that brow beaten soul. That lower than low. The one that goes home to sleep and sleep and dream and dream until the day has disappeared and night encapsulates and settles the debate of who has won that day,  life or him or her.

They will not choose to try again the next day nor the next.  Woe are they, to not even attempt. For that voice that once shouted has been muffled and thrown into a cage of the finest steel made.  Never to be let out, never to be fed or watered, but instead to let whither and die in a lonely cage bound with a strength they gave away.

All because they believed they reached some end.  Some place in their  life they could not rectify, or redeem. Never realizing life is impartial, life goes on.  So go on, life says go on, and don’t be afraid to look weak and go on.

Be that person you lied to yourself about that you told you could not be. This is a lesson for all three of you who walk the path you think you should.

See…the path before you.  Just let yourself  simply really truly see.

 

by Philip Wardlow 2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fill up my time fish


 

 

goldfish

 

 

Fill up my time fish~

 

She said,  “Fill up my time

while I wait for something

that I can finally keep

to drop on by.”

 

He said, “You’ll do,

you beautiful thing you,

now hurry , spread your legs as

my want of  you is  almost up.”

 

You are my novelty for the day,

the week, the month, the year,

as my desires

run their phases like the moon

runs its course across the skies

a hundred thousand million times.

You didn’t know it, but you did.

You hoped, but you still did.

Our original sin, over and over again.

That seems to be half the fun.

 

Are we all hobbies? Habits?

Frivolous fantasies and disastrous

desires run amok?

Dear affections that grab us like

a child holding tight to a goldfish

in a brand new bowl.

We all know what  happens to that fish.

 

 

by Philip Wardlow 2016

Mad Men, Angry Women – A poem


Mad Men, Angry Women –

 

She smiled when she first met you.Smiling young couple in love

You smiled back just as easily.

Why did that smile slowly fade

into  a rictus of a grimace?

Why did the feelings encapsulated

in those smiles dissolve and morph into

something menacing and mad.

At what point did they take that turn

downward?

Did you let the history between you two

add up in the negative?

Math is a fickle thing when you let

yourself cheat.

How many blind eyes do you have?

How many lives have you left?

What are you allowed?

Think on it, and remember to smile

while your doing it.

 

by Philip Wardlow 2014

 

 

It’s Complicated – a Poem


Chess

It’s Complicated –

Sink or swim.

Hundred pound of feathers,

or a hundred pounds of lead?

Doggy paddle or breast stroke?

Doesn’t fucking matter, she says

My daddies got a motor boat.

I just smile and flick my ashes

in her drink,

and keep on walking.

You see it’s complicated,

this you and me thing.

My chemistry is mangled compared to

yours and there is no untangling

such a goddam chore

of a life you take

for granted.

You don’t see.

For me, it’s complicated,

like chess, or Risk

It’s far from fucking checkers

dear.

A game, is a game, is a game

and it could be fun,

This you and me.

It’s complicated.

For every game big or small

has got its rules but sadly

you never learned to read.

By Philip Wardlow 2014