I dream


I dream of dumping
the sadness
at the curb for the
trash man to collect
I dream of punching a wall
until my
knuckles bleed out
all the hurt
collected in my
heart that
I can never define.

I dream of jumping into cold, cold water
and finding the funny
in the deepness of life
Laughing at redeemptive jokes
over and over
of life sagas played
out by man.
Being seen and not being seen
being alone to think
or sharing a moment
with another that
sees life exactly as
I do.
I dream of communicating a thought
in it’s entirety by
just sending it to
someone.
Going home through time and
seeing my father
hearing his voice,
knowing his face
again.
Laughing with my brothers
cooking with my mother
I dream of a
peace to finally
find the me
that resides
within.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

Every thing Gets Old?


“What value do you see in me?

In my melodramatic melancholy,
I answered her,
Everything gets old.
Time leaps and bounds like a
jackrabbit down the street
never to be seen
never to revisit.
It ain’t coming back.

The new is old, the shiny dull.
Promises forestalled
for yet another day still biting
yet to come to be called old
also.

Motivation is a nag that
won’t shut up,
blah, blah, blahing
about a when that
shuns and hugs
all in one.

But you, sweet Red,
are nature incarnate,
imbued with a compelling
visceral beauty,
wild, free,
ever evolving
ever charming
your way into my heart
with a sustaining
magic
that roots
deeply to
the core of me

Time only solidifies
that connection
and brings to light
that newness
upon every turning
of the page
in the story
between
you and I that
will be a beautiful
adventure if not
funny book
to read
one day.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

Happy Happens


I can’t make you happy
and you can’t make me.
Happy happens
independently
Stop missing the moments
when you could have
noticed.
And I’ll stop missing
my own.
But by my side
is where I want you
cuz happiness
is always better
shared.
And your smile, your laugh,
your touch
compliments
and fits
like a neat little
puzzle piece
into my
very soul.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

Outside the Something


7.7 Billion
and counting
Of them all,
tell me,
am I Outside or
in?
Cuz, I feel like
something’s wrong
when the Outside
feels like my home
when the Something got their groups
cliques, committees, each
of them knowing the others
favorite songs.
Something to call theirs
and theirs alone.
Right or wrong
they got theirs
and theirs are,
mad strong
numbering in
the thousands, hundreds, tens
I’m not even looking for all
that
hell I’ll take just three
like minded souls
similar to me
I am betting nothing
can beat such intimacy
but I’m
Outside the Something
and it
feels fucking
lonely.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

My Muse beckons


My Muse,
she sits upon
yon shore, across dark waters flowing,
serene and smiling with invitation,
red hair blowing
in the same direction
as the wide deep river
does go.

I find I lack the courage
to traverse such a feat, for fears
take hold of the mortal
man in me.

This side is good,
she whispers from across the waves,
full of life, stars, and wonderment.
Won’t you come over
for I know you will enjoy it too,
It’s where your soul will thrive
and come alive
as I sit by your side on the
riverbank of life,
exalting in all that
there is.

I look away,
avoiding her gaze
The river is strong and a
torrent of a task to cross
and nature has created a coward of me.

Oh, but her sweet whispers reach
my ears, speaking of mysteries,
of love, of magic and mischief.
The core of my being
smiles inside
at the bright,
light of potential
in those whisperings
of all that could
be.

So I turn to her
my red, red Muse
and smile as I dive in.
Cold water clutching,
I surface
stroke after stroke,
kicking and fighting
I beat the water with
a fury, setting
up a rhythm it cannot
ignore.

All the while I hear,
pulling
her words.
That wonderful self
never ceasing
until I reach the
far shore
Tired,
but alive,
fears cast
aside
as I fall
into my Muses
loving
embrace.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

Nocturnal Submissions


 

Delicate ivory lace
caress
soft curves
as ripples of silk
envelope
a yearning body
seeking
sustenance by a strong hand
taking her
in a wanting night.

Giving over to him
she flies to the other
place,
that azure blue
space
of soul
cleansing
euphoria.
sprinkled with
non-stop explosions
of magenta and scarlet.

This is her forever home
in his arms
in his heart
in his desires
forever
more.

by Philip Wardlow