This Apple Cart


 

Apple Cart 12 x 16 acrylic on panel 300 dpi wm-1

I always want you and I
to get drunk on each other
Not get drunk just to be
together

I want our smiles to be freely given,
not pulled out like a rotten tooth
and spit on the floor

Let’s hold each other tight, but
not so much the air cant get in
or out.

Let’s love without fear that the other one is not going to up and disappear
In a moment when the “perfection” is gone.

Let us let know each other at the most
Inappropriate times and to
have the courage to ask for a hug at
3 o’clock when our world has gone awry.

Let’s pull that Apple cart together and not care when an apple or two falls out when a bump in the road comes a calling.

Let’s just be that love we first sought, let’s just see that same look in both our eyes never reading more or less.

Let’s just…

By Philip Wardlow 2018

Fickle Thing


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Many of my days are good,
rich, full to overflowing
Abundant with love
Buckets sloshing
Passions pulsing
Ever sure, ever wanting,
ever taking of it all
Smiling from the inside
to the out
And I fall to sleep
Cradled in the knowing
Of my perfect world
Right in all its imaginings
Other days, like seeming
clockwork sneak in
To toil, to tire, to pull,
to question me at the what
Of It all.
Waves high overhead crash into me
And I can’t seem to remove myself from this tumultuous beach, to simply
Step back from this seething shore in me and just fucking relax
Give me that! I yell at the darkness
Give me that! Eyes open challenging all
my stupid, blundering thoughts
Head on pillow looking up
At nothing
with fickle sleep not wanting
to come.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

 

 

In Need of


I don’t want to need
for it physically hurts
to need YOU, yet
I want to need you
all the time
Because all of YOU
is never enough.
Fearing the heights,
I walk a tightrope to your kiss
And fall into the netting below after.
Safe, embraced
Still.
Still safe.
Looking up at you precariously perched.
And Me
With intentions to already climb
Up that long ladder once again
For your sweet lips

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Expressing


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I thought she knew
I wanted her close
Felt it, as I held her
in the night
But when she left
I couldn’t summon
the words for her to stay
because rejection
ran too deep In me
Not trusting my actions and desires
had always been a problem I
thought finally dissolved away
This culprit in many of my undoings
made me believe
I never was in the right
So belief in myself
In what I really mean to you
Is elusive at times
Always that fear of losing
Of pushing you away
By saying too much or not enough
So expressing needs, wants, desires
Has become a small wall
In me.
We fool ourselves at believing
others see us, should see us,
But we are all masters at not
showing certain self truths so well
that we get in the way of
everything that life might
offer us as real and good and
end up with nothing.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

My Dreamcatcher


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She enchanted me
pulling me into her dreams
No moment in time clearly defined
when it came to her
From Iguanas spelled with an E
Hoola Hoops spinning
Trampoline jumping to blue skies
To dancing in the kitchen
…please come see,
all the many talents that reside in her
She’s a spitfire and a rogue,
who doesnt like to do as she’s told
“Mucho mean Maria” takes no prisoners
Fearless of heights, but won’t walk a frozen pond,
Yet, she’ll dance on and on to our
favorite song long after everyone
is gone from the floor.
A tenacious Princess with a kiss
full of spells that intertwine and weave and reach deep into me.
She’s magical, a delicate delight
that’s why I intend to make
her my wife.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

 

Something Wiccan this way comes


 

“Do as ye will as long as ye harm none”
Maid, Mother, and Crone
all intone.
Walk these woodlands,
inside and out
letting your spirit
thrive from bone, to eye, to mind.
This natural world is your playground
so play proud, head tall, breasts out
Be divine and in turn know divinity.
The hunt is on in fair woods,
Strength is foraged first, followed by Beauty unmarred,
then comes Power in the will coupled with Compassion,
Mirth as you dance the fire, Reverence as the trance
takes you in Honor of all that is known and unknown
as you finally kneel in Humility
to your Goddess
conveying nature’s kiss upon
each of your sisters
to seal the spell bringing
to bear the Cosmos
within the inscribed circle
upon this Earth you now
dwell.

by Philip Wardlow 2018

 

 

 

Leave me Be


 

I wake up early
Laying there in the dull
grey darkness.
Aches, pains, tensions, and worries
intrude then.
Some I expect and accept, others I reject.
The rejected ones
Need to leave me be.
Just be
For once.
Perhaps this is what being
is for me.
Has always been
This conflicted contentment
This feared future
Not ever defined
Until it comes to pass
These runaway days
I chase after but they
fade, fade, fade
But I breathe a whispered
fuck you Mr. Future.
And get up when
the sun shines through
into my room.
Kiss you on the
cheek
And enjoy this
beautiful day.

by Philip Wardlow

UP or Down


Up or Down
you are still around
Know that. With a heart beat
that’s fucking fierce.
That beauty, that soul, that spirit within
still tolls and tolls and tolls
Oh they toll
Through the ever darkness
a smile, a grimace, a groan
You struggled and you struggle still
you so struggle still.
In bed you laid, fetal
Epitaph gouged out with bloodied fingernails
on wooded headboard
saying “She lived, but where has she gone
and will she ever return and in what state?”
Little does she know
She has gone no where
she never has.
She’s been in it, the visceral reality
sitting heavy upon her chest
choked out to almost
the last breath.
Yet, she struggled out the words FUCK YOU and
GO TO HELL!

So when gravity abates, should
she praise the fickle forces
in their absence?
Fuck them even more, so she says
Fuck them even more.
My heart beats
with no thanks
My heart still beats.

 

by Philip Wardlow

for my friend Candice Louisa Daquin love ya sis  🙂
catch her great work at her website at:
https://thefeatheredsleepcom.wordpress.com/

She’ll get there


 

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She’s in her head again
blaming all the world’s stones
thrown at her on herself.

Oh baby, don’t you see, your
the beautiful one, the innocent
girl seeking that life all the
others have long
stopped looking for.

Your head is wonderfully in the clouds
It’s all of them who long ago lost
their wings while you continued to sing.

You are something else,
that special mix, that sweet sauce,
that kick, that love that keeps
giving, that sweet smile that drives
me to my knees.

You’ll get there baby girl.
And I’ll hold your hand until
You do.

By Philip Wardlow 2018