Tag Archives: Fear

Fears




If I think too much on losing her, my
body goes taunt and tight,
muscles as rigid as a high wire cable,
then  shaking like  a nervous  tightrope
walker traversing a great height. 

Why would I lose her?
Everything will work out fine.
Love conquers all.  Right?

"Love" did conquer all once and she 
left me.

I didn't seem to be mean too much to her at the end

Am I now?  Will I be in  a month, a year, a decade?

Will she give up on me?

Will I be to blame?
Does every past  failure 
play a part in a possible future one
or the success in
not  losing you.
With wisdom found.

What makes me special?

What makes her say to herself, 
I shall keep him for all my
days to come no matter what

I guess I do. 
I make her want say to herself,
I shall keep him
And so I shall always 
keep showing her
she wants to say
I shall keep you.

By Philip Wardlow August 2023

THE EYE




Step into the EYE... walk into the unknowing. What are afraid of? Delve...delve...delve deep.

Fear is a weighed response to a possible biased outcome of your own forging, fear not that future, for it could unfold into a thousand other delightful experiences.

You will never know though, unless you step into the EYE.

So step, take my, let us both see what's on the other side together.


by Philip Wardlow June 7th, 2023

October


When you are a child you are in touch with the old magic that rides the winds
in the month of October.

It's palpable, tangible, substantial in the air at night when the moon is
full and darkness descends and the cool winds blow through the almost naked
trees clinging.

Often, you laid in your bed, blanket held high, tight just below your eyes, as you
stared at the shadows dancing, tapping just outside your window creeping,
because every sound, every movement, outside or in, was more
ominous in the enchanting halls that you called the days of October.

From one to thirty-one you knew you marched certainly to your gleeful deaths
under the blue shadowed sky cast by a vengeful moon that had nothing better to do than to spy on you as you tried to sleep a fitful sleep.

As a child, you loved to fear, but feared to know the full extent that your fear could roam
and go, but roam you did. And Fear always got the best of you, wide eyes and all as
you ran to your Ma or Pa.

Secretly though, even consoled, you loved the tenseness of that feeling,
that soul reeling fright, the goosebumps crawling across your skin at night.

You relished that magic, that what-if of awfulness lurking.

Life was alive in you. Breathing like a bellowed fired, and wanting to escape from that feeling was never a question truly ever posed
in the slightest.


by Philip Wardlow ~ October 1st of 2021

The, I am Rights


I have met them,
The, I am Rights,
They give you a sidelong
glance and a chuckle
as you present
the realness
of you and of them,
of feelings simply
felt with no malice.

Yet they seem to be
able not to respond
with a kind word, but
they instead double down
in their derision.

It’s as if they have
already made up
their mind of what they
will say before you
ever uttered a word.

I am sorry the world
broke you.

I am sorry life can’t
be a perfect scenario.

I am not your keeper
I can’t heal what is
broken in you.
That’s on you.
I can listen though, I can learn
I can open my own heart
So I in turn can
see the rights and wrongs
of it all in your world
and you can perhaps see mine
too.

by Philip Wardlow – August 2020

The Dark Forest


dark-forest-water-artwork-wallpaper-preview

Jump in the river and let it carry you out of the dark forest you are in…

Who cares where it flows if you are already lost….

Fearing anything is inevitable,
so face it headlong at a dead
run.

I hear most outcomes cause
you to grow beyond what you
thought of as a once heeled truth,
allowing you to leave that dark forest
far behind,
as you continue
to flow on, and on, and on.

By Philip Wardlow May, 2020

 

 

Everybody is a Fucking Expert


People become afflicted
become sickened
A Mother dies, a Daddy dies
a Brother, a Sister,
a Nephew, an Aunt,
that crazy fun Uncle,
well he’s no longer around.
Yet some know better,
some are fucking experts on everything now:
Epidemiology, Politics
and the Constitution, here
come take your diploma
young ignorant man.
They have just crawled from
the primordial ooze,
but without an ounce of knowledge or true
reflection,
they know the why, the what, and the wherefore
of it all.
Without doubt or reservation,
they string together tens of hundreds
of stories into
a conspiracy of disdain and ridiculousness.
Anxiety now rules an already twisted logic system,
mutating them all into something
new and improved,
The truest most deadly virus of a
a thing called the Fool.

by Philip Wardlow April, 2020

My Muse beckons


My Muse,
she sits upon
yon shore, across dark waters flowing,
serene and smiling with invitation,
red hair blowing
in the same direction
as the wide deep river
does go.

I find I lack the courage
to traverse such a feat, for fears
take hold of the mortal
man in me.

This side is good,
she whispers from across the waves,
full of life, stars, and wonderment.
Won’t you come over
for I know you will enjoy it too,
It’s where your soul will thrive
and come alive
as I sit by your side on the
riverbank of life,
exalting in all that
there is.

I look away,
avoiding her gaze
The river is strong and a
torrent of a task to cross
and nature has created a coward of me.

Oh, but her sweet whispers reach
my ears, speaking of mysteries,
of love, of magic and mischief.
The core of my being
smiles inside
at the bright,
light of potential
in those whisperings
of all that could
be.

So I turn to her
my red, red Muse
and smile as I dive in.
Cold water clutching,
I surface
stroke after stroke,
kicking and fighting
I beat the water with
a fury, setting
up a rhythm it cannot
ignore.

All the while I hear,
pulling
her words.
That wonderful self
never ceasing
until I reach the
far shore
Tired,
but alive,
fears cast
aside
as I fall
into my Muses
loving
embrace.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

In Need of


I don’t want to need
for it physically hurts
to need YOU, yet
I want to need you
all the time
Because all of YOU
is never enough.
Fearing the heights,
I walk a tightrope to your kiss
And fall into the netting below after.
Safe, embraced
Still.
Still safe.
Looking up at you precariously perched.
And Me
With intentions to already climb
Up that long ladder once again
For your sweet lips

551596411

Fear and Want


I fear the tangle
and the untangling
I want the nearness
but want to runaway
I fear words spoken
in the light of day
but want those
same words
whispered in my
ear in the dark in
full embrace.
Fear and Want Juxtaposed
Side by Side
a creeping glorious
Twilight

 

By Philip Wardlow 2018

 

Dark Days Perhaps Fade Away – Poem#1 through 3 Collection


Poem #1

Snuggled down deep with the dark at our backs, intense heated light upon our cheeks while tales are told of places and times either long gone or yet to be of the bold; fighting, with either triumph or death to unfold in stories so unreal as to be real for truth lies in the darkest of tales, ever mercurial and seeking a willful ear…

 

 

Poem #2

Lost little monster of the dark auburn woods . She is hidden, ever hidden deep within. A hideous beauty.  Sweet dark girl with eyes that burn with a magic earned in dark fires held sway by an intense and longing angry pain. More fearsome than the darkness that seeks her or so she thinks. Beguiling and devilish yet unknowingly selfless. Just you wait, you’ll see. when the blackness truly and finally comes to knock upon all our doors and hers, she’ll be the only one strong to stand in its way.   To right the many wrongs of a life stripped away.

Poem #3

If there be real magic, I shall discover it in my travels upon my boat, with its sails made of flicks of flame billowing and full, pulling me across a crystal ocean through the night and day of this worn out world.  Alone I shall go, but you may accompany me  if you so wish. But please know dear companion, I shall seek that magic even if I should fall off the edge of it all to find a new more inviting place…

 

 

All poems by Philip Wardlow 2017