All posts by Philip Wardlow

Philip Wardlow is a burgeoning ever growing writer and poet delving into all the various aspects of the human condition. His writing tastes run to the Erotic most recently. In the recent past he has written to the Dark Urban Fantasy & Horror Genre which he still loves as well. He likes to dabble in all the various forms of poetry; from the sexy to the humorous, to the profound and beautifully sentimental and reflective. He has only been at this chosen path for a few of years and has produced one Novella published as an Ebook on Amazon called “Roadkill”. He has submitted and continues to submit various stories and poetry works to publications for consideration. Philip is working on a collection of Erotic Poetry due out in 2021 in ebook form and perhaps in paperback. He is also concurrently working hard on his other passion; photography. Philip believes he can have each foot planted in two distinctly different worlds of creativity there by inciting new ideas and growth at the same time in both.

The Unmarked Grave of my Father


It started out as a question from my wife.

“Can you call your mom and get picture of your Dad?” she asked me.

This question was asked by her because I had written a little something on my Facebook about him on Father’s Day,  stating I didn’t  have a picture of my father but I believed that he might look like this.  I had posted a picture of some generic older man that closely resembled him. ( see below on the picture I posted)

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My wife actually called my mom enquiring about pictures. My mom told her my older brother, who lived in North Carolina,  had the only picture of him (she believed anyways),  as the rest had gotten lost for whatever reasons I  didn’t understand. Well, I don’t really talk to my older brother (another story for another day), so I called my mother  and told her it would be nice if she could tell him to scan the picture and send me the image.

Since that Father’s Day request to her,  no picture has surfaced for me to see. Surprise Surprise…  I can always rely on my family to come through for me.

Fast forward a little to last week,  we had decided to go to an Air Show south of us in our state of Michigan.  The air show just happened to be taking place in the same area where my father had died and had been buried.

So again my wife asked, “Hey, we should go and try and find his grave, since you have never been to it. You want to?”

“Sure, why not. But I have no clue what cemetery he is buried in.” I said.

So I called my mom yet again and asked her this question and her reply was,  “Hmm…I am not sure of the name at all. I don’t really remember,” she said.

“Really mom? Really…? ”  I asked.

She finally drudged up the funeral home name where the service had taken place in 1982, the year he died. The place was still around thankfully so I called them up.  A nice old lady named Barbara said she would investigate their records from that time to find out what cemetery he had been buried in.

She called me back in literally ten minutes after talking to another nice old lady I am sure , named Betty who worked at the Oakhill Cemetery where she  found he had been taken.

Through Barbara, Betty relayed great directions to the gravesite and Betty even offered to attach a cemetary Map to the front door of  the cemetery office, as she said they would not be open on a Sunday for the day we were going to be coming down.

“GREAT!”  I said and thanked her profusely for both of their efforts.

Sunday came and I drove with my wife, along with my mother-in-law who was tagging along to the air show,  ( and no, the thought of bringing my mother along to this , never crossed my mind).  For many reasons. One being, having my mother and my mother-in-law in the same car in the back seat  would have driven my wife and I insane.

Btw, here.is a picture of my mom and mother-in-law below  in the back seat behind me at one time…it wasn’t pretty that day:

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Okay, on with my story.

We arrived at Oakhill Cemetery after a little of bit driving.  It was a cemetery  set in a semi-run down part of town bounded by an old brick and mortar walls surrounding the perimeter, wrought iron gates at various entrances and exits bid you to enter or leave as you pleased. IF YOU DARE! It was actually a very entrancing place to drive up on.  The place immediately reminded me of George A. Romero’s cemetery setting from his movie ‘Night of the Living Dead’…. awesome, I thought to myself….. 🙂

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We drove up to the building you see before you and sure enough good as her word, Betty had attached the Cemetery Map and Burial page log for the specific plot section along with instructions on finding my father’s grave. Cool.

We got out and parked the car near the relative area and proceeded to the task like good little archeologists on a dig to try and decipher the hieroglyphics, map and instructions to where he might be buried.

The first thing I realized  regarding my father’s information about his burial site was that he was buried without a marker, meaning he had no headstone put in place when he was buried….wtf!

Okay. So that’s interesting.

According to the information he was in Plot 83, Row 7, Grave #8 , near a person with a last name of  “Swift” , it stated in the instructions, approximately  20 feet off the road.

My wife and mother-in-law  began searching diligently for “Swift”  at the beginning of the section as the map markings were too small and hard to read  for each Plot section. I ranged further down the road as it seemed intuitively, in looking at the map, to just be further away than they were looking.

It was sort of thrilling in a way to be out doing this. I had always wanted to be an archeologist or anthropologist growing up,  digging up dead bodies and sifting rocks and dirt. I just needed a good hat and whip to complete my ensemble…. 🙂

Indiana_Jones_in_Raiders_of_the_Lost_Ark

 

After a few minutes with neither of us spotting the name “Swift” I suddenly saw it, the name “Swift” etched into the stone work of a very aged and corroded marble headstone in the shape of an obelisk, ( a broken obelisk) .

I had just found one of the supposed  neighbor’s to my father’s grave. Oh ,”Swift” must have been rich to afford such a marker in their day. (See below for actual picture of it)

SwiftStone

 

I yelled to the others to stop the search in the area they were in and to come over.

We quickly referred to the burial location log and saw he should be buried in Grave #8 location between a  gravestone marker 8B with name of Dugan and  gravestone marker with name  labeled  only with the letter “J”per the entry in the log.

We quickly found this: (see images below):  It seems the “J” meant Julia.

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So that means my father was buried in that non-descript space in the middle somewhere down below where I stood.

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But just looking at this patch of parched grass, you wouldn’t know it.

Here was a man who lived on this earth until the  age of  73 years  through 1909 until 1972, with him dying when I was only eleven years old.

In that time,  he had married twice (I believe) and had us three sons bearing his name, yet you wouldn’t know he existed without me telling you he existed. (btw he had married my mom when she was 29 and he was 59 years of age in the 70s, so he was already at a  “grandpa age” as I was  growing up.

He has no picture to be found (as of yet) and now no burial plot to even show his bones were some six-feet deep  below me held by the earth.

NOTHING.

I suddenly felt a little sad.  Not for me. But for him.  He died alone in his home without us in his life, separated from us. He was buried alone without us as I only remember going to the funeral home  as an eleven year old and not to his grave.  They say funerals are more for the living, but fuck that. He deserved better than this. Yes, everyone will be forgotten one day but damn at least I should remember him.

I also felt ashamed at not trying to find his grave sooner than I had on almost a whim as of now.  Had I really blocked him out from thoughts and every day life as to not care about such things as a picture of him or to possibly  visit his grave.  God, I was asshole of a son, I thought.

THAT’S gonna change.

Immediately when I got home I started looking up gravestones to buy for him.

I have decided so far that it’s going to read:

Willie Wardlow 

February 9th, 1909  to April 20th 1972  

 

I am still deciding on some one line of phrasing I’m thinking of putting on below this.

When its finally put in I will put a picture of it on here to show you guys….  🙂

 

Message in a Bottle Received


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After a hundred bottles or more

that had been cast out to sea,

an answer finally washed upon my shore

one morn much to my chagrin.

For you see, it simply read,

“Stop littering the seas with your sad and woeful pitiful pleas,

and just leave us be you little fucker! Leave us be!”

 

by Philip Wardlow 2016

 

 

My Progress ?


Booklight

 

Thought I would update everyone on the progress on my Book I plan on putting out this year as a collection of  Horror, Fantasy, and Science Fiction all in one.

Shooting for a Lucky 13 stories to go into the Book… Hey!  Maybe that phrase could be part of the Title of the Book. Nah,  it’s probably been over done…I will have to think on it…. 🙂

Check out my progress so far in my writing on the various titles going in the book.

BTW I still need artists for various small sketches to donate an original drawing or artwork based a story or two. Nothing big. just some original stuff would be nice to give it a little pizzazz!

OKAY see below my list of stories either done or in the work.  WISH me luck!

Go HERE for Synopsis of some of the stories below:

Finished Stories

  1. The Summoning *
  2. Witch Hunt *
  3. Bits and Pieces*
  4. Flight Through the Forest
  5. Demon in the Details*
  6. Time Stopped
  7. Roadkill (Novella)
  8. Fire Extinguished

Stories at about 90% Done**

  1. Power in Me

Stories about 25% Done***

  1. The Well
  2. Sinkhole
  3. To Take a Life

Stories at intro to 10%

  1. Alphabet Killer
  2. Thousand Years
  3. Year of the Crow
  4. The Circuit Board

 

TheReader

 

 

 

Still only


Still only~

Time will eat  at you while you’re still alive  picking your bones clean like a vulture, swallowing you in big gulps but with no droppings to follow later.

Every molecule of you will be forgotten in history…every thought…every nuance to what was you …gone…simply gone.  One day.

Just the ask the dinosaur’s bones that litter the world. What were their names? What great sonnets did they compose? What grand edifices did they erect in honor of their forgotten gods? We are but dinosaurs, waiting for our grand event to expire us.

I say that’s all fine and good, but could we at least grow to be as smart and civil as the dinosaurs that came before us?

Let’s finally leave our caves  once and for all. We discovered fire and the wheel a long time ago but really have made no progress since.

Perhaps a fingernail’s thickness only I imagine. A lot for us I am sure in the short time on this planet…but still only a fingernail.

by Philip Wardlow 2016

Caveman

Hug me


hugs
Artwork by Christian Ward

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hug Me~

 

A woman will always want  a hug more than a man

but a man will always need a hug more than a woman.

Neither knows why.

She will want his presence close; his arms and his heart.

In that very moment as he embraces,

he will be her harbor for all the days

that he holds her.

He will need her light and the one

she sees in him when he cannot.

Through that embrace, her light will envelop

him and strengthen him for all his days

to come.

 

by Philip Wardlow 2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quote of the Day – Value


“One’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion”

by Simone de Beauvoir

My Gay Agenda by Alisa Hutton


Hello guys…

I ran across this blog by Alisa Hutton whom I do not follow, but was directed to by someone that does; a one Candice Louisa Daquin over at thefeatheredsleep   I think it is a great post  and sums up the feelings I think a lot of people may be having regarding the Orlando shooting whether as  a family, friend, or spectator to it all like me…so please read this small excerpt, then head over to Alisa’s sight to read the remaining portion which brings ups very good points about our perceptions and place in life…

My Gay Agenda by Alisa Hutton

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Sometimes I want to write something and I just don’t know how to start it. Sometimes something happens in the world and I want to cry and yell and grieve and shout words until it is all out of my system and the world is right and sensible again. I know when I feel like this that usually my heart is just hurting and what I need to do is just be quiet for a while and put a little extra love in to myself and others.

Call me crazy but when the world seems to be upside down on its logical head I feel the one thing we can do that won’t cause any more destruction is love. It seems safe to me, sensible and more here…

 

Your Moment of Silence Won’t Fix Anything (regarding Orlando shootings and others to come)


JimHimesSilence

 

A conversation with Congressman Jim Himes, who is sick of the bullshit.

 

Below Article is copied directly from the online publication Esquire written by Luke O’Neil  June 13th, 2016 .  If you wish to see the article in its original format…please go HERE:

On Monday afternoon, Rep. Jim Himes (D-Conn.), took to the floor of the House to address the shootings in Orlando. Unlike many of his colleagues in Congress, Himes said, he would not be participating in any moment of silence for the victims.

“Silence. That is how the leadership of the most powerful country in the world will respond to this week’s massacre of its citizens,” Himes said, before listing off the names of a few of the many victims whose lives were cut short “by a madman with a military rifle.”

Himes continued:
“And make no mistake. Cut short by this Congress’ fetish to repeatedly meet bloody tragedy with silence. Silence. That is what we offer an America that supports many of the things we could do to slow the bloodbath. Silence. Not me. Not anymore. I will no longer stand here absorbing the faux concern, contrived gravity and tepid smugness of a House complicit in the weekly bloodshed. Sooner or later, the country will hold us accountable for our inaction. But as you bow your head think of what you will say to your God when you are asked what you did to slow the slaughter of the innocents. Silence.”
 The Congressman’s words came after a series of tweets he sent out on Sunday that called the government’s inability to do anything about the gun violence epidemic “gross negligence” and an “abomination.”
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The approach marked a sharp turn for Himes, who says he’s not typically given to using such inflammatory and morality-based language. But this time, like many of us around the country, he says he’s had enough. I spoke with Himes by phone moments after he finished addressing his colleagues in the House.

How was your statement perceived?

Well, there aren’t many people here today. But I’m sure this will be characterized as something that it’s not, as another installment in people who want to take away your guns. And it’s not, because I actually support Second Amendment rights, I like recreational shooting. But, I got thinking about it yesterday, and my stomach turned thinking about these moments of silence. To me, it’s perfectly emblematic of utter inaction and gross negligence of the Congress. When 50 people are dead on slabs in Florida, what we’ve got is 26 seconds of silence for you. That’s just unconscionable. There’s sort of a faux-sanctity to it, by putting on my serious face, looking like I care, and being silent for 15 seconds, that that is somehow a contribution. We have a lot of tough issues. We’re never going to solve the abortion thing, we’re never going to solve the taxes thing, or when we go to war. But here’s an area, where the vast majority of gun owners, not just Americans, agree on a set of measures that will keep a lot of people alive. But no. We’ve got silence.

“There’s sort of a faux-sanctity to it, by putting on my serious face, looking like I care, and being silent for 15 seconds.”

Have we gone mad as a country? Why can’t we get anything done here?

My perception is that groups like the NRA have used the Tea Party movement to create kind of a cult of guns, where you believe you’ve got a liberal Harvard Law Review president that is hellbent on taking away your guns to fulfill his Islamic fantasies. If not Islamic, government takeover fantasies. And that caused people to believe things that are patently not true. Like the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. There was a good guy with a gun in Orlando and it didn’t work. Or it causes people to believe, as an untrained software developer, you’re actually going to be safer armed in your own house than if you don’t have a gun in your house. It’s objectively provable that that’s not true, but there is this cult. People like Wayne LaPierre, 10 seconds into his speech, slamming this president, creating this bullshit argument that Washington is intent on taking away their guns. And a lot of people have bought into that. My Republican colleagues for the most part are decent people, but they’re scared of that cult.

Being from Connecticut, you’re sensitive to this. But something people have been saying is that if we didn’t do anything after Sandy Hook, then we never will.

Well, I’m not willing to say never. One of these reasons I’m taking the stand on these moments of silence, and doing something I don’t normally do, which is speaking in moral language, is that we’ve just got to change the dialogue. If you have to talk about judgment and God to get the attention of people who are more comfortable in that realm, then let’s do it. Let’s really talk about whether Jesus Christ thinks that the answer is a good guy with a gun. But we say this time and again. Change doesn’t come fast. If we’d given up on Civil Rights in 1964 where would we be?

How do you feel Connecticut’s state laws stack up to the rest of the country in terms of guns?

Well to their credit, in the wake of the Sandy Hook shootings, they actually passed exactly the type of passage I’m talking about, and passed some thoughtful gun safety rules. I think they’re pretty tough, like New York. But at the end of the day, when you can be in Virginia at one o’clock and Connecticut at four o’clock, you got to deal with the federal level.

You’ve spoken out against the opioid epidemic as well. Do you see parallels? Are we addicted to guns?

This points to another absurdity. Medical professionals want us to think about it that way. They want us to really study who gets killed, how, what are the circumstances. Always a good idea, since about the year 1400, to gather the facts. But of course Congress has said, no, we will not gather the facts.

They’re prevented from studying it.

Exactly. So maybe there is a parallel to be drawn with addiction, in as much Congress is very much in the phase of not understanding it has a problem.

Jimhimestalking

This is something I don’t understand. Last year, the NRA spent something like 28 million dollars lobbying on the federal level. But if you break it down by each lawmaker, it’s not really all that much money, a few thousand here and there. You’re a congressman, is that how cheap it is buy someone’s loyalty?

No. I think the NRA is more powerful as a purveyor of insane falsehoods than it is as a donor to individual members of Congress. It matters a little, but, but I think my colleagues are more scared of being primaried by a rootin’ tootin’ gun absolutist than they are having their opponent getting $5,000 from the NRA.

People say, “Oh, so you’re going to take all our guns? Obama is coming to take our guns.” Which, by the way, he’s really waiting ’till the last minute here on that plan. You figure he would’ve done it by now.

Right! I mean the insanity.… I remember my first Congress, 2009 through 2011, he had exactly one piece of gun legislation, which was a bill to allow you to carry a gun in a national park, so it actually loosened things. But there’s Wayne LaPiere saying what he does.

What if we said no more high capacity magazines? No more military-style weapons? Is that a compromised place where we can start?

Yes. Look, this isn’t that complicated. As much as there are things like limits on capacity of magazines, the kinds of guns, universal background checks. There are four or five things that have broad support in the American population. Are they going to end gun violence? Of course not. But if this crazy, radicalized guy hadn’t been so able to go buy a military weapon, despite the fact that he’d been interviewed a couple of times by the FBI, I think a lot of people would be alive this morning. We’re not going to solve this thing, but we can do some things that a lot of people support that can save lives. And that’s why we need to talk about these things in moral terms.