Tag Archives: funny

My Killer Girlfriend


 

Huntress

 

I knew the moment I spied you

that the devil lived behind those blues.

How long ago did you trap him, for

I see he’s itching to play.

It’s clear from our encounter,

your a girl who  can handle her boomstick

when it goes off with a kick.

Your grip on the gun is tight but loose as

silver bullets fill it, along with a gleam.

You smile that smile that I could die for as the

full moon rises, and

the day descends to glorious night.

My hand takes yours as we roam

the dank castle far beneath in the catacombs.

I’ll take the hammer,  you take the stake

as we take out a vampire or two on our first date.

When other monster’s wish to interlude upon

our first kiss your casual air and

sadistic flair with an axe

cannot be denied as the crimson droplets fly

in the midnight air….Oh, I think I’m in love!

Let’s not dawdle, let’s not hesitate in our fate.

For we have a rendezvous, me and you, and it involves

Frankenstein and the Wolfman’s  heads

on a plate.

 

by Philip Wardlow

Killer Pumpkins – Poem #13


Killer Pumpkinskiller-pumpkinWeapons

Ba dump…ba dump…ba ba dump.

Bump…

Bump…

They roll.

They stroll

down the streets;

orange and angry.

Why do they roll?

Why are they not in bed,

with green leaves as blankets

To cover their orange ripply heads.

I suppose they’re pissed off

for being left behind

in the patch.

What the fuck was wrong

with them, they ask.

It’s Halloween and they’ve

waited long enough.

Knives in hand with

grins carved in,

ready to show

the little tricker-treat bastards

a real killer

pumpkin.

So they roll

and they stroll

down the street.

Ba dump.

 

KillerPumpkin

I’m a Rat! Poem


pizza

I don’t feel bad for stealing that piece of  pizza pie.

Look me in my eye!

I’m a rat can’t you see,

a rat through and through.

You knew from my whip like tail,

to my twitchy whisker face, and my little ears

which danced to and fro

that I was up to no good

as I ambled up on ya, you  knew, oh you knew

 that pie was already

gonna be took!

Nom…nom…nom.

Hmm…there’s more.

Well why the hell not?

I’m a rat!

by Philip Wardlow 2016