Tag Archives: fate

Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work

Love lost

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The English poet, Alfred, Lord Tennyson once wrote, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.”

I tried twenty-eight years with the first, and it hurt, oh it fucking hurt when it ended, apparently it hurt her more, I was confidently told by her, but I doubt that, I seriously doubt that, but pain shouldn’t be a competition, so I will let that thought go.

I have lost so much in my life, family, friends, security, careers, contentment, loves, homes, animals and hope itself, but I bounce back well you see, because I have to,

Right…right?

Cue the melancholy music in the background.

Did Tennyson think memories of former loves would console and comfort, or cajole one to action to still wanting a life missed that is now lost?

I was not lost yet then. Lightning did strike and I captured it in a bottle and watched it dance for me and she was beautiful…

For I found a new love, a gem, magically so, from the outset, with a twirl and a twinkle, a kiss and much romance, it felt as if the universe pushed her into my arms and said, “Here she is, she’s all yours, don’t fuck it up son.”

Many a song and poem eloquently talk of second chances, new adventures, new wonders, new laughter, fresh embraces, her hand in mind and always on my mind, a magnet that aligned with mine and her own to me.

Fucking wonderful and rich, earthmoving and damn beautiful like a hundred sunsets bursting from a horizon upon waking from a fevered nightmare of loneliness and despair.

That was me…

But I feel I am a bad egg morally, underserving of any accolades of bravery and courage and fortitude, and discipline. Knowing my Father’s history a little, and my father’s father even less, along with my brothers, I feel a small curse has percolated into my blood to always be fated a fateful outcome no matter the decisions made.

Such praise has been heaped upon me in my growing as a child into manhood, but I am afraid the bar was always beguiled in other’s eyes as compared to others who were woefully low, so how could anyone but not think I was an angel in all things with no competition when the devil was racing in first place in front of me.

How indeed, as you can see I don’t think too much of the me that is me.

Therein lies the curse.

I have always felt apart, alone from the very start of me, like a firefly in the dark amongst a myriad of other flickering lights with none answering back.

It only took a few looks of disdain, a word or two of disgust and accusation whether deserved or not to send me to spiral into a nothingness which has been hard to pull myself from.

I don’t do well when I am suddenly the villain and the surrounding actor’s lines are designed to un-wide me, and malign me to a mere trope and cliche of malice and mayhem as they take nothing into themselves, all seemingly seem innocent since the day they were born.

I did love, and I lost, and then I did love again Lord Tennyson…but what happens when you lose it all over again?

by Philip Wardlow November 10th, 2026

Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work, The EROTIC ZONE

From her eyes,to her smiles and hips

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There is no greater story than us…

To meet during the chaos of our lives as the cruel planet revolved endlessly around.

The Universe said, “Here, take a look at this, isn’t it all you have ever wished for?”

“Yes, yes it is,” I replied inside, “she’s the type of girl I could love.”

From the come fuck-me eyes, to that open sweet smile, to those hips which told a future tale of open thighs letting me inside, from her warm heart to her internal heat.

When the Universe speaks, you better listen hard, for she may only whisper but once.

I didn’t blink, I didn’t turn away. I smiled back.

I saw her that night, fully. Her and I, laid out together for the next years of our lifetime and perhaps well beyond if the myths be true.

She was the one, she is the one.

From her eyes, to her smile, to her hips and well beyond.

By Philip Wardlow Aug 26th, 2021

Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work

The not so long ago

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Not so long ago
you once never were.

Your pretty face was
not an image in my head.
You were non-existent;
invisible in my reality.

Then right in front
of me, you shone
like a day
that never knew light.
You popped in gloriously
and I could not look away.

How many turnings of the Earth,
how many cycles of the Moon
have gone by since that fateful date
of our conjunction?

You were magic found that night,
a treasure uncovered, a beacon
in a blanket of fog as
I held you tight,
dancing,
the music playing,
me dissolving into you.

Now you are ever present,
you sit in my mind
Never moving an inch
for I hold you fast in me.
For the lover you are now.
For the friend you will always be.

I like to think on the not so long ago,
when the Universe
brought your brightness
to me, and that I never want
it to leave.

by Philip Wardlow March , 2020

Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work

The Red Queen

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She once sat a throne of bones
and violence, of endings
and beginnings unwinding,
while always seeking a home.

I found her to be funny, frivolous,
fraught, extreme, and sublime
all in a few heartbeats
of a day.

She seeks the happy,
as she delves for the pride inside
of her and the precious life
that resides in the self.

All her shimmer
rides a rail of magic,
all her gold glitters
at the end of a lost rainbow.

Her beauty often touches
on another world,
where mysteries come alive
and mesmerize
only to slowly fade away.

She has made a home of me,
and I am grateful in that
choosing, for there is
no other place I wish
for her to be.

For she will forever in a day
be my Red Queen.

by Philip Wardlow Jan, 2020

Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work, The EROTIC ZONE

On first meeting

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On first sight,
I did smile,
eyes drinking you in like a warm
red sweet wine,
rolling the taste
around with my tongue
slowly savoring,
before swallowing you
down,
trying to satiate a thirst
you created
with just
one devastating look
my way.

On first kiss,
the universe coalesced
between our lips
electrons comingled
energies shared,
released in cataclysmic
meeting, we danced
together you and I
body and soul
hand in hand
orbiting, revolving
and falling
into the others
gravity,
pulling and
savoring the magic
in the resonance
between
the other,
knowing none like it
that had ever come before.

On first parting,
an almost ripping,
a tearing of souls
seamed together
like a fine soft silk
blanketing us
both in a commanding
comfort
of a home
we had never known
yet sought,
with surety
we knew
that through patience
and the
wrestling of fate
we would
meet
again to make
the universe
dance for us
in the home
of our own
creation.

by Philip Wardlow 2019

GiFs for your Entertaiment, Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work

My Stardust Companion

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There is no doubt, not an ounce
that some of my atoms were compressed
tight to the millionth of magnitudes
against some of yours
Kissing, real French like
if you know what I mean,
in that coalescing, condensed
cosmic cloud
out in the lonely dark
in an endless time.
Then Bam!
We were torn apart
just about when
I was almost
to second base
You were gone,
Far flung.
We both did our own thing then
for eons, on top of eons
Flying in a comet or two,
playing in the solar winds
making new friends
and losing a few to
the gravity of
a Universe slowly,
ever slowly coming
into view.
But, I still remembered you
in all my travels…
that energy, that vibrating
frequency, that was
a signature all your own
I felt it out there
amongst all the seeming chaos,
I felt you.
And now you have come
to sidle up tight
against me once again.
So let’s start over with that kiss
and let the planet we now
find ourselves on,
spin and spin and spin.

by Philip Wardlow 2018

Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work

All I know

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Are you my soulmate?
Are you kin to my spirit within?

At the inception of the universe,
did my atoms mingle with yours?
Did your energies play with my own?

Did destiny play a part in all our fateful
days as we twisted amongst
the stars through billions, and millions of years, to dwindle down to Earth to finally share a kiss which held a resonance and a mysterious affinity
that can not be explained away.

Or I have met you once before in the purgatory of souls lost wondering in the void, finding quiet comfort and caress in the serendipitous chance in a billion, trillion, quintillion of meanderings of spirits. I found you, YOU, amongst the multitude, then lost you fully in memory and in touch as you slowly faded away, what chance then to find you yet again in a dance, in a smile, in a laugh, in a kiss long sought and well remembered.

What chance indeed.

And I remember you, no matter
the mystery of us.
I remember.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

 

GiFs for your Entertaiment, Inquiring Minds, Poetry Work

The Moon and the Stars told Me

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I sat on my front porch
and stared out at the dark.
The moon was full
as was the sky
of stars
and fireflys.
I was seven maybe six
I was happy in that
moment,
content,
Looking up,
Lost in the moon
I thought of her
a girl I never knew
she would be pretty
she would love me
deeply as I loved her
And we would
be together
for all our days
I thought of her
somewhere else
looking at the moon
thinking the same
of me
“I will meet her one
day,” I whispered
to the night.
Then I went quietly
back inside.

By Philip Wardlow 2018

GiFs for your Entertaiment, Poetry Work

Mystery Girl

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She flits
amongst the tangled
night in dreams
that I have not known
Yet the desire is
there to partake
of the darkness
that abounds and
surrounds from within her
Mingle me in your madness
Tangle me in your limbs
crawling across your skin
With my warm lips
against cold body
gradually gaining heat
the more you encompass
me.
Your disguise is my own
you think you wear
unbeknownst.
I know.
Mystery girl,
still a sad
forlon whistling tune
hanging in the wind,
a shadow dimly cast by
a light trapped in a closet
from a future not promised
nor sure
she sits tap, tap, tapping
her index finger
on a desk that hardly
ever saw a word written
upon it.
I listen for
her echo
Deep, hallow,
beautiful
wanting.
I listen for it
in the night
as she flits and flutters
in the dark.

by Philip Wardlow 2017

Inquiring Minds, Stories and Story Excerpts

Amongst the Stars

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A deep brackish blue light filtered in through the curtains next to my bed crawling across my closed eyes. I let my head remain, resting on my pillow. Perhaps I could fool the world in to believing I was still yet asleep. Nudges came in thunderous pains, lightening strikes to the brain. I knew I was awake, that was enough.

In all night diner, I found my hands full of a ceramic cup filled with coffee topped with cream in the design of a mountaintop I had yet to climb. Desires awoke in me, spoke to me; whispered really. They never yelled. Never. Except to run. I hated them all. Weaklings all of them.

I slapped myself hard then. Sitting there in the crowded diner, coffee in hand with my mountain in a cup.

I yelled out loud, “I am not a ghost!”

Then I left a dollar tip and got up and left to stares and murmuring all around. I was their talk of the day.

I broke into a run down the sidewalk. If anything I was going to own the running. Fuck the illusions, fuck the dream. Fuck the quicksand of doubt. Ever forward…running.

Just find the rhythm of me. Left, right, left, right…pick them up…put them back down. Running towards it, not away…no matter the pitfalls.

“Viva la Vida” played as I ran by a outdoor bar, then I heard an old woman humming “Cest Le Vie” as she fed the pigeons in the park.

Well fuck, the Universe seemed to be noticing me. For good or bad? I guess we’ll see

As my feet suddenly left the ground to go running amongst the stars.

by Philip Wardlow 2017