Tag Archives: Writing Exercises

I appreciate my Followers


Just wanted to let my followers know  I appreciate you hanging on and your support .  I am writing writing writing  as always…thanks for your likes and your occasional comments!

New Short story to come on here and as always working on  FIRST novel that I am so TRYING to get finished for this year and ready for submission to Publishers.

So keep following, more great things to come…:)

“I would…But” A Writing exercise and my little stab at humor.

When I am in a rut like I am right now with my writing I often try to jump-start my brain with a Writing Exercise or two.  The next few posts will be focused on breaking past that block and showing you the results of my own exercises that I am trying.  As I have said in the past in my other posts there is no such thing as writer’s blocks just more of what I would call a writing malaise if you will.  So here is one of my first attempts to get out of it and start being more productive with my Novel and Short stories…

I like to often challenge the brain by forcing me to come up with a solution.  Be it a short scenario or situation to get out of, a cause/affect, or an  if/then kinda thing.  I wanted to have fun with that concept  a little so I decided doing it in a joke format called ” I would …But”  … so here goes my little stab or stabs at humor. They are in the order in which they were created first btw.  My goal was Ten..my brain was hurting a little towards the end. Hey its hard to be funny!   I hope I don’t make you suffer or groan out loud too much…:).

1.  I would call you an ass but you’d take it as a compliment.

2. I would say I love you but you might hold me to it.

3. I would say my ships about to come in but I just found out it was called the Titanic.

4. I would love to have sex with you but the sign above your head says now serving No.4 and I’m holding No.99 and I just can’t wait that long.

5. I would say you are the most beautiful woman in the world but I just had a sex change so I would be lying.

6. I would give strippers more money but they hate it when I try and make change for a five.

7. I would say the state of the world as a majority is mostly apathetic to the causes that face our planet on a daily basis and that we as a human race need to stand up and say enough is enough, let’s fight for what we believe in and have the guts and determination and discipline to stand behind our principles to forge a better brighter tomorrow for ourselves and our future posterity  but then again I don’t really care to leave my couch much.

8. I would like to thank my esteemed colleagues,co-workers, and friends who I climbed over and stomped on that helped make this all possible but for the life of me I cannot remember any of their damn names.

9. I would be a junkie but I am afraid of anything going in my nose, or needles into my arm, I would be a prostitute but I’m afraid of committment for cash, to much pressure to  perform I guess, I would be an alcoholic but I may be forced to go to AA one day and I just hate crowds and public speaking.

10. I would like to write a book that at least half the world would gush over and ooh and aw at it but I’m thinking I would have to kill about  7,640,000,011 Billion People to make that happen…dammit make that 7,649,000,012…I missed one!

Well there you have it…hope you enjoyed it as much as me…and I didn’t really enjoy it all that much myself…I’m just trying to jump-start myself as I said….

I will do another post soon to jump start my brain called Toilet Tuesday….its where I go into my bathroom at work with a pad and pen, push the button on the exhaust fan for  10 minutes and see what I come up with for a quick short story…and yes.. I am serious I will be seriously doing this…just you wait and see… I hope it’s something good. ( and no I am not actually going to the bathroom while I’m in there…I’m just using the timer function….sheesh what do you take me for)

Till next we meet…:)

Rejection Drives me…mainly because death threats to editors won’t work.

Well once again  I  have been rejected by more  various publishers  and editors in the world of writing …. Some have been for some of my poems and others were for some of my short stories.

“They” say you have to have a thick skin as a writer.  I think by now I could give a rhino a run for his money when it comes to the thick skin department….But it still stings no matter how thick it has become. Like if I was rhino grazing  on the Africa savannah and this big mutated experimental mosquito came by and landed on my ass and went  boink boink..boink (he’s testing where he wants  to aim his stinger) and then whammo!  Ouch…it still doesn’t feel good.


Here a few of my latest rejection excerpts below:

“Unfortunately, we feel that this piece is not ready for publication. We found the story entertaining, but it needs a bit of work.  Please consider joining our fantasy workshop on our  website, the community is very generous with their time and can offer some great advice.

We wish you all the best in your future writing endeavors and please do try us again.”

and this one

“Thank you for submitting your poems. We enjoyed them both but unfortunately cannot offer publication at this time. Thanks for your interest in HFQ and do try us again.  You’ll crack this nut someday . . . just keep after it.”

As rejections go they were not so bad. Both editors actually seemed to care how I took the rejection and they seemed genuine in there request to see more of my stuff. So I would call these positive rejections because they showed interest in my work..right?…I mean they could be just kissing my ass and stroking my ego so I don’t go off the deep end and go on a drinking bender at some kareoke bar singing “We Built this City”  by Starship…yeah I know I don’t want to go there either.

So being a man of action, I have joined a local writing group to expand my skills and work on my craft further. They meet every other Sunday during the month from 2-4pm in a nice little coffee/pastry  shop fairly free of people at that time.  I just went to my first group meeting on Dec 1st.  I must say there is something to be said about instant feed back regarding your writing.  It was a very rewarding experience. So far they seem to be a nice ecletic group of people. It is a group consisting of seven people with most of them who actually write my kind of stuff;  fantasy, horror, science fiction..so they get me which I like. It’s also a pretty balanced group of four women and four men ( I make the fourth man).

My next meeting will be Dec 16th coming up and I look forward to it. It was a little nervous and intimidating being the new guy coming into the group  giving my opinion on there stuff but I wanted to help them just has much as they were helping me..after that realization it was easy to just jump right in on the discussion.

So if you get rejected, try to turn lemons into lemonade or wine (that helps to).  Don’t just sit on your hands…do something different, shake things up….don’t be arrogant and think you are the perfect writer already…else you never will be…:)

Inspiration …and pulling yourself out of the quicksand

I never liked the phrase “writers block”. It always seemed to much like an excuse for saying its okay to give up.  But sometimes I think a writer can get stuck in the mud or in a bog of quicksand in their writing.  To get out of that quicksand sometimes you gotta look around at your surroundings and look for something to pull you out….a  rope, a vine, a ladder, a stick, a friend, a distraction of inspiration.

So here are some of my distractions of inspiration. In this era of the internet some can be found in various places on the web..they may be pictures, poems, videos, music, etc…now of course you are not regulated to just the website…talk a walk, look around ..look at the stars,   talk to a friend about the story you are working on. Bring up what ifs and  scenarios and let there mind tangle with it like yours can’t seem to do at the moment.

Studies have shown that the oddest places bring up spontaneous ideas…the bathroom is such  a place, So  go to the bathroom, or take a shower or brush your teeth.  A small nap in bed no matter what the time…walking your dog, petting your cat. Try consciously thinking of the thing that is causing the sloooowing down of your writing before you began your routine.  Then forget about it and let yourself be distracted and see what happens.

Maybe some of these things will give you some inspiration…see below:

Credit above pic to:  http://apolonis.deviantart.com/art/Deception-315967675



What inspires you?

Who am I….know yourself before you write.

I wanted to expand a little bit on the previous  blog I wrote,regarding Write what you know. Yes, writer what you know of course…how could you not…

If you don’t it’s  a pretty short fall to people, your readers,  realizing you don’t know what the hell your talking about.  BUT even if you have that base covered and you know what your talking about then you actually have to make what you say interesting.  You can’t  just spout the right words in the right order and make a sentence and hope that person on the receiving end of it all is interested in what your saying. Hey slap that kid in the back he’s dozing off.  SLAP..thanks

I found out  when I went to back to college and started studying literature and creative writing that people just dont know how boring they are to listen to when it comes to the written word.( it can carry over to normal conversation as well but not always)  I can’t tell you how many times I sat around in a huddle with my writing group and we’d all take turns reading a particular writer’s story and then proceed to give our own critique of it.

I always hated critiquing people’s work because I have this thing in my mind that likes to leap out and wreak havoc on the poor soul who wrote it.  Basically, that creature inside my head is honesty.  What made it worst for me was that the three people before me, giving the guy their own opinion , who read the  same exact boring  going nowhere piece of crap  story that I did, didn’t have the balls to step up and say “Hey buddy, see this part right here, yeah,   I don’t get it..or could you be a  little more descriptive..this isn’t a grocery list your writing here, hell a grocery list would have been more exciting…and look what you did there…what were you  thinking?”     SEE WHAT I DID? ..I totally just bombed this whole guy’s story and he thinks I’m a jerk.

Raise your hand if you have ever seen Amercian Idol, or some version of  such a show.  Stop me if I’m wrong but of the 70,000+ entrants maybe 200 have actual talent to go further. The rest of the 69,800 just have one thing…..courage.  Now where do they get that courage from?  From the same people like in my writing group who don’t know how to give an honest critique but instead pump them full of misguided praise, misinformation, or worse yet..just silence, leading the writer to think whatever hell they want to think. (which is usually oh I must be kinda good)

NOW here’s my point to all this blah blahing above. If those 69,800  others really really really really took a look at themseleves.  Reviewed their talent in all the clarity of a microscope, you would see would them BE BETTER. Some might not be Idol material but they would BE better when they went up to that mic. Because they would KNOW themselves.  KNOW what they need to work on, come prepared,  work at their craft. But they delude themselves and will continue to delude while someone pats their hands and tells them what they want to hear.

I soooooo  want people to tell me whats wrong with my work it hurts. (yes I occasionally  would like adulation from my adoring fans…bring it)

I want to get better…but I want to get better. For real better.

So as a writer I will always try to be true, to myself  and not short change myself. I  will do my best not to lie to myself…the truth will set you free they say. (will somebody get me out of this straight jacket)