Tag Archives: freshly pressed

Dung Beetle


Sometimes I feel like a  Dung Beetle,

rolling shit around,

first up one hill then down the next,

then up another hill,

continuously rolling and pushing and prodding

it across the ground.

What is the purpose of this rolling, and tolling

this incessant cajoling

of this excrement that falls into a perfect form;

a sphere of shit?

Well I guess you could look at it  this way

at the end of the day

I get to eat it.

Badass Woman in Horror or Fantasy FACE OFF Challenge


Over the weekend I just saw  the prequel to John Carpenter’s ” The Thing” . ..which I thought was pretty good. In it, there is a woman heroine as the strong leading role (something we don’t have enough I might add)  and that led me to thinking.   What if I compiled a list of at least  ten  or more of the  strongest woman heroines I have ever read about in  literature, be it a book, a comic book, or seen in a movie, or television series and have them duke it out one on one. Then I thought,t how I can involve my bloggers who come to my sight.

I decided I would issue a challenge to you guys.  I would like to write a confrontation between  two of the  Bad Ass heroines listed below, but I would like your help in choosing what two woman to pick for  the fight.  Yes, I know  it’s gratutious violence between two woman – isn’t life wonderful.  So here goes.

Keep in mind these are heroines I have been exposed to.  I am sure I will miss a a few if not a lot you probably know that I do not. So  sorry right now if I miss any of your favorites.

I decided on a list of sixteen woman to choose from. I would like if you could also challenge yourself and come with your own little battle royale.  If you wish to write your own confrontation please respond to this challenge by either writing out the challenge in full in a reply to my post or simply reference a link to your own blogsite showing the challenge in a reply to this post.  Well here goes!  Please PICK TWO of the  Women below and I will simply tally up the votes to see who I will write about before my next post. (keep in mind depending on how the voting goes one,both or none of your two picks may end up actually fighting)

Here are my sixteeen Badass Heroines in no particular order for you to choose from:

Polgara – Legendary Sorceress (Aunt Pol) – Part of the Belgaridad Storyline byh David Eddings. Who was nonense woman who could back up her gruff talk by making you look like a fool by simply willing you into a frog
Number#2 – Alice oh sweet Alice…Definitely a bad ass from the beginning even before she got psychokinetic mind powers. (then lost them) She has single handly killed more Zombies than all zombie movie main characters put together since the dawn of zombidom!
Nymber# 3 Beatrice Kiddo, Some might argue…yes she’s a badass but is she really a heroine..she was out for a revenge. Yes but she knew she had to kill the others in her group first or else they would just keep coming and coming after her. She was defending her way of life her freedoms..that’s a heroine in my book. ..btw loved the Crazy 88 fight..can anyone say awesome!!!
Number #4 Nynaeve al’meara- If you ever read the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, You will know who I am talking about. She may look all nice pretty, but she will hold you over a cookpot for a Trolloc if you don’t see things her way. She can go toe to toe with the Forsaken and not blink an eye and put the Dragon Reborn in his place..I would stay on her goodside if I were you…:)
Number #5 Ms. Marvel or Captain Marvel take your pick, she’s all woman, and she’s gott tons of attitude. You have to if your surrounded by tons of testosterone with all the male members in the Avengers she has to deal with. But she can back up that tough talk with her fists…and she can probably can go toe to toe with the HULK and THOR at the SAME TIME and not break a nail.
Number #6 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer…if she has a stake in her as she is walking towards you. Then pray you are a not vampire..cuz your ass is basically most asssurdely absolutely dead. She’s definitely a Badass…cmon a teenage girl named Buffy killing vampires on daily basis without breaking a sweat…must look great on a College Application Entrance Essay when they asked how have you made difference in your community
Number #8 – Wonder Woman Need I say more…she can tie me up with her golden lasso in time she wants…Just look at her eyes man..she means business man…I’m shaking right now.
Number #7 Rogue- With but a touch she has you…then your screwed..Villian turned Xman extraordinaire (and I dont mean the one in the stupid movies)…..I’m still waiting for her own movie..Wolverine got one…why not her..she deserves it.
Number #9 Red Sonja – Supreme fighter and cunning intellect, endowned with tremendous endurance and physical strength by the gods.. and by the way boys you won’t be getting any unless you can beat her in combat…guess who’s hitting the cold shower tonight
Number #10 – Lara Croft in Tomb Raider – The one I’m talking about is from the game not the movies. Superb Agility, can run for miles(it’s a video game go figure) dead shot with her guns, looks goods in shorts, and she’s the female version of Indiana Jones +10, btw I love a woman with brains and brawn. (I married one)
Number #11 – Hit Girl – Yes she’s technically not woman, but she doesn’t play with dolls but with bowie knives and katana swords and says balls and shit and fuck more than the crew of the USS Eisenhower
Number #12 Power Girl – Alternate world less Prissy version of DC Comics Supergirl. I keep trying to get my wife to wear this costume for Halloween because she would fill it out nicely. I personally think I would lose every fight to this woman if I was a super villian simply because my eyes would always be fixated six inches below her chin ….it must be one of her superpowers…:)
Number #15 – Xena Warrior Princess…I always thought the princess part softened up her rough edges…NOT…..From her acrobatics, swordplay, to her boomerang thingy she through around at people, and to her occasional almost soft porn action with sidekick Gabrielle I have always loved her. I never could do that yell she does though….Iay Iay Iay! Not even close.
Number 16 – Sarah Connor…”come with me if you wish to live”..forget that shit Arnold..before Terminator 2 was over you wanted her to protect your ass from anything that might chew it up and spit it out…and did you see her doin those pull-ups in her cell and take out that sercurity guard with that cobbled up mop handle made into a policman’s night stock …sure she might be a little unbalanced but aren’t all bad ass woman…just a little.
Ripley- from Alien, Aliens, Alien3,Alien Resurrection….you just can’t keep her down man. Give her a Grenade launching machine gun and she’s set.(or Alien dna) She’s the definition of a tenacious woman..look it up, her face is next to the word in the dictionary
Number #14 – Trinity…my favorite woman in black with a 180 Degree Kick from the floor who can launch herself into a window the size of homeplate from three stories high and come up with guns blazing..and that’s besides looking sexy on a high performance motorcycle while cars and trucks are flinging themselves at her

At my side – A poem


At my Side –

I carry this sword at my side.

It shines bright in the morning light

it reflects.

I have made it so,

for ne’er will you see it pitted or dull

while it lays in my hands.

Ne’er will you not see the blade as

keen of edge as when it was first cast

that fateful day from the folded metal within.

I count it a true companion for you will

ever see it at my side.

More faithful than the rest ever have been

from days forever gone and treacherous roads long

ago tread.

Ours is a pact forged of conflict,

Where we have both stood together

and tasted the promise of another

day as the blood dripped from both of

us to soil the ground beneath.

I will wake and it will be there.

I will live while it still shines,

for we have each other

My sword and I.

 

By Philip Wardlow 2012

This poem is about more  than a sword. It’s about what’s in us all. The will to to fight when hope may be lost but we fight and struggle and continue to climb out of it no matter what the odds. May you always keep your sword close by your side my friends…

6 Things that at First Don’t seem too Scary then scare the hell out of you later!


When I try to think of things in my writing that are scary I often  sit at my keyboard for a moment and think hmmm..what would scare ME  if I were reading it.   Now for me its not the Freddy Krugers, or the Jasons or the Michael Meyers. They never did it for me. To me it was the psychological stuff or the sinister things in nature or the things that cut closer to home that got me scared.

So here are my 6 top things that at first Don’t seem to Scary then scare the hell out of you later!

1.  TREES – You say whaaat Philip? Trees? Really cmon! Think about it.  Trees have been used in so many movies to scare the hell out of children. My first experience as a little kid was ‘Wizard of Oz’  when those fuckin trees  came alive and got pissed off at Dorothy for picking the apples off the tree.  That freaked me out as a five year old! Then there’s the  tree in ‘Poltergeist’ that reached into the kid’s room  and grabbed his ass out through the window and tried to eat him.  Let’s also not forget the young woman in ‘Evil Dead’ that was almost raped by a tree. So yes, Trees ladies and gentleman ..those fuckin Trees.

2. WATER – Now water is one of those subtle fears.  For me, when I first saw the movie ‘Jaws’ it wasn’t the shark that scared me it was the water., 75% of this planet is covered by water and most of it unexplored. You know how much crazy shit we haven’t run into yet in the ocean? Forget Bigfoot. He’s got nothing on all the things in the big blue. Let’s not forget movies like the first ‘Final Destination’, which so eloquently portrayed water as the villian in the story,  Death wanting its just dessert. I never looked at water the same again after that movie. It’s a sneaky bastard…

3. Semi-Intelligent Animals that Stare too Much – Okay, you all know what I’m talking about here. You have a pet, be it a dog, a cat, a bird, or a flipping guinea pig.  There comes a time when your just sitting there minding your own business. Maybe you’re watching tv, reading a book, or even sleeping and you feel you’re being watched.  You look up and you see these eyes staring directly into your soul. Why is it staring into your soul. I don’t know but leave it alone. It’s mine.  I love my pets but I don’t trust  them. Don’t turn your back on them my friend, they are just waiting to pounce…

4. People That  are Just too Nice –  Why is it that I cringe inside whenever someone smiles at me, or acts like they are my best friend after only knowing me for a just few minutes? Is it because I’m anti-social? Possibly, most people do annoy the hell of  me in a short amount of time. But that’s besides the point. It just creeps me out man. How many movies start out with the “nice guy”, or  the “congenial man”,  and you just know he’s the one who’s doing all the killing around town. It’s not usually the town dick who’s doing all the killing, he’s just  the distraction for the real culprit Mr. Green Jeans.  Remember  Norman Bates in ‘Pscyho’, John Lithgow in ‘Dexter’ as the Trinity Killer or the Sheriff in ‘Along Came A Spider’.

5. EVP or Electronic Voice Phenomenon – You would think EVPs would be scary right off the bat, but they’re not I have watched many epsiodes of Ghost Hunters and all the other fly by night wanna be paranormal shows.  Most of these “investigators” can’t recite the alphabet and they are supposed to convince me that they can discover otherworldly phenomenon by asking its name, only to run like a pussy down a dark corridor because a mouse or raccoon was scuffling around in the night.  I have never really  heard  an EVP with a concrete message in it  that wasn’t either garbled so badly you could make up anything you wanted or that is was suspect to contamination by the surrounding idiot investigators. Well my family and I had  had seen enough of these so called professionals. My wife, son and I ventured out to a well known site  where a boy had been killed many many years before and where his ghost was said to have been seen and heard on several occasions.  We brought along a voice recorder for EVPs and a digital camera . Before we went out we established rules of conduct for the investigiation.  The most important was that when doing the EVP no one was to say a word after a question was asked on the recording, That way we would know it was a clean recording for sure and also take note  of any background noise at the same time. Well after our outing we saw nothing on the pictures, but when we played the recorder back on one  of our questions directed to the dead boy, we all distinctly heard “Put that away!”  To this day we cannot explain it. It is not any one of us on the recorder . Creepy.

6. Cute Children who Either Worship Some Creature in the Corn Field and will kill you on site if you’re over sixteen or Very cute kids who have perfectly coiffed blonde hair and glowing eyes with deadly  mind powers or a  young innocent little girl who laughs and is like any other normal girl until she gets possessed by a demon and her head does a 360 spin while buckets of vomit spew from her all the while cussing  like a sailor. (Yeah, I know it was long title for the  last one on my list) –  Basically any seemingly innocent looking child that is evil or turns evil freaks me out…for example the little kid in ‘Pet Semetary’, or even the the kids in ‘Lord of the Flies’ when half of them go postal.  Or McCauly Caulkins as the ‘The Good Son’.  I could go on and on.  Take this as a serious warning more so than even for your pets….watch your kids closely, very closely.

Yes don’t be fooled by this cute face….or it may be the last thing you see.  Is there anyone out there that would like to add to this list above?  Remember it’s the not something that should be obvious right away.

I was gonna add Old People to the list but I didn’t wanna be accused of ageism. 

Remember the creepy old guy in Poltergeist that came to the screen door…or the little old Lady in Legion that jumped like a Amazon Toad on the walls of the restaurant?  Ok you twisted my arm so yeah definitely Old  people also. So here you go  Number 7 below…:)