If I think too much on losing her, my
body goes taunt and tight,
muscles as rigid as a high wire cable,
then shaking like a nervous tightrope
walker traversing a great height.
Why would I lose her?
Everything will work out fine.
Love conquers all. Right?
"Love" did conquer all once and she
left me.
I didn't seem to be mean too much to her at the end
Am I now? Will I be in a month, a year, a decade?
Will she give up on me?
Will I be to blame?
Does every past failure
play a part in a possible future one
or the success in
not losing you.
With wisdom found.
What makes me special?
What makes her say to herself,
I shall keep him for all my
days to come no matter what
I guess I do.
I make her want say to herself,
I shall keep him
And so I shall always
keep showing her
she wants to say
I shall keep you.
By Philip Wardlow August 2023
That first date we road a Merry-Go-Round together because I wanted you to experience the magic of the world that I knew you sought inside yourself that had been so long denied.
I wanted to show you how cherished by me you already were and would be for all our days to come. I couldn’t tell you that just yet, but I felt all the feels for you and wanted to give you my world and share every adventure with you for the rest of our days together.
Five years on that feeling has not changed a bit.
Yet, I have let time steal many a precious moment from you and I. Many a magical moment that could have been, but never were.
Love is not enough, but being present with you, feeling you, knowing you, listening to you, connecting with you in all the ways that matter most like in the beginning is the magic you sought and need.
I let the days drain that magic away. I should have held on tighter, fought every day with my last breath for you in sustaining that enchantment.
She is nestled here amongst me,
our energies intertwined
exchanging soft electricity,
nuzzling.
A quiet moment created where space
and time slows,
juxtaposed
with love and longing
amid fears and frailties
that are forever timeless.
She shouldn't have to wonder, nor
should she ever worry in regards
to if we are forever.
But she does, oh she does,
soft and hard she does.
I hold her all the tighter
so she knows my energy is all hers,
pure and bright as the noon day
sun and just as
comforting and warm.
By Philip Wardlow May 10th, 2023
I love recalling the past of you when we first met, when the Universe nudged me into you, I remember your first smile, shy but sly, your first laugh, full and inviting. your body as it danced, swaying and in sync with my own. I remember your eyes looking at me with a lust of a thousand lovers, then later with love like a thousand poems I don’t want to forget the first time of knowing you and everything that pulled me into those eyes, running. I want all the songs that are ours to wrap up around us every time you walk into the room I don’t want to forget you the first time.
Because those first times always bring me home to you and I love you all over again just like the first time.
Did it grip you tightly?
Did it have you enthralled?
Did you chase it like a little
kitten chases a ball of yarn
tumbling down a long
flight of stairs never quite
catching up
until it all unravels.
What does a kitten mean to a piece of
yarn anyways?
I will tell you,
absolutely nothing at all.
If you truly wish to know the
secrets of the heart
let’s speak of lust,
love’s lost cousin.
A bewildered child of
aches and unknown needs,
a meandering fool of the flesh
thinking the reality of a moment of
soft penetrating touches
done in the dark
is all their is to
being complete.
But those sweet treats
are only ever
half the nourishment
the soul needs.
I will tell you this,
Love starts as a delicate touch
followed by a delicate word,
followed by a delicate intention,
followed by a delicate action
Over, and over, and over
a cycle never ending
never wanting to end.
Because the feeling
is too sweet,
sweeter than the sweetest
candy
and infinitely more filling
to the ache that sits
inside you.
Once I was her Prince in courting, now I am her Kingly Husband kneeling and she my Queen and Wife, Unwavering in love am I, full of autumnal dreamings never ceasing for the life and lives we will lead together bound fast in charms and enchantments that no witch or warlock could tear asunder.
With pressed kisses we did call all the magics of the Universe to bear witness upon our oaths felt true from heart to heart as the elementals of Earth, Fire, Air and Water danced around our two spirits embracing
She is my love, and if a single tear of hers should fall, then so one of mine She is my future, and my present filling me with a need to always be hers in friendship, in trust, in passions, and in love. Steadfast
Why don’t we buy a house
and call it our home
Live in it til
we’re gray and old
and the toothless dog
can’t chew his bone.
Why don’t we just let go,
pour it all out,
the fears, worries, and woe
Flush the toilet
and watch the shit
spin away forever gone.
And if backs ups
we plunger that bitch
until it drains
away.
Why don’t we
stoke the fire,
pour a drink at the bar
pet the cat as it
curls up close.
and yes that was a
euphemism for sex
meaning, let’s get it on.
Why don’t we
trust in us.
In that wonderful thing called love,
know it’s forever
bought and sold
no returns
rip up the receipt,
the stores closed,
out of business,
torn down.
Pause,
be still
for there is solace in us,
we fools of love lost
now found.
Silent the raging of
the day,
for fortune
fills our cup
Sip
Sip
Sip it up
and
savor the flavor.
For you and I
are everything
that some might
deny in themselves
and wonder
at the end
of the day
why they ever did.
Her face is always shadowed
in my dreams
Yet, if I ever saw her in
the waking world
I know she would shine
like warm magic
radiating across
a darkened room
like a beacon.
No matter the distance I
stood,
her gaze
would find my own
staring into the heart
of her.
Deep and knowing,
she would see
that missing part
long sought
Seen only in her own dreams of me.
I would kiss her then,
without a doubt.
My hands on her waist
pulling her in,
just ever so.
No resistance would come
Only a heavy sigh
of her finally
coming home.
There is no doubt, not an ounce
that some of my atoms were compressed
tight to the millionth of magnitudes
against some of yours
Kissing, real French like
if you know what I mean,
in that coalescing, condensed
cosmic cloud
out in the lonely dark
in an endless time.
Then Bam!
We were torn apart
just about when
I was almost
to second base
You were gone,
Far flung.
We both did our own thing then
for eons, on top of eons
Flying in a comet or two,
playing in the solar winds
making new friends
and losing a few to
the gravity of
a Universe slowly,
ever slowly coming
into view.
But, I still remembered you
in all my travels…
that energy, that vibrating
frequency, that was
a signature all your own
I felt it out there
amongst all the seeming chaos,
I felt you.
And now you have come
to sidle up tight
against me once again.
So let’s start over with that kiss
and let the planet we now
find ourselves on,
spin and spin and spin.
Ain't no rest for the Wicked - Philip Wardlow - The real and the sensual sides to life in all its facets.. 