I don't ever wish to come home and not truly see you or not want to.
I don't ever wish not to be truly seen by you or you not want to see me.
I don't ever wish for all our bloody car load of resentments to ever cause us
to drive off the road over a cliff into despair, anxiety, anger or despondence for each other.
I want contentment in one another to be our loadstone, to pull us towards the mirth in life, the tranquil moments, and to delight in the delving of what made us fall in love, and to always be ready to be jubilant with another without fear, judgement or reproach.
I want you to fall into my arms and for me to fall into yours, lovely, tenderly, for all the years down the road together ahead, flinging resentments to the wind out the car window, and holding fast to each others hands like new lovers on a magical trip, seeking new discoveries around every bend.
by Philip Wardlow August 21, 2023
If I think too much on losing her, my
body goes taunt and tight,
muscles as rigid as a high wire cable,
then shaking like a nervous tightrope
walker traversing a great height.
Why would I lose her?
Everything will work out fine.
Love conquers all. Right?
"Love" did conquer all once and she
left me.
I didn't seem to be mean too much to her at the end
Am I now? Will I be in a month, a year, a decade?
Will she give up on me?
Will I be to blame?
Does every past failure
play a part in a possible future one
or the success in
not losing you.
With wisdom found.
What makes me special?
What makes her say to herself,
I shall keep him for all my
days to come no matter what
I guess I do.
I make her want say to herself,
I shall keep him
And so I shall always
keep showing her
she wants to say
I shall keep you.
By Philip Wardlow August 2023
That first date we road a Merry-Go-Round together because I wanted you to experience the magic of the world that I knew you sought inside yourself that had been so long denied.
I wanted to show you how cherished by me you already were and would be for all our days to come. I couldn’t tell you that just yet, but I felt all the feels for you and wanted to give you my world and share every adventure with you for the rest of our days together.
Five years on that feeling has not changed a bit.
Yet, I have let time steal many a precious moment from you and I. Many a magical moment that could have been, but never were.
Love is not enough, but being present with you, feeling you, knowing you, listening to you, connecting with you in all the ways that matter most like in the beginning is the magic you sought and need.
I let the days drain that magic away. I should have held on tighter, fought every day with my last breath for you in sustaining that enchantment.
I could never see walking into this tomorrow without you.
Every single step keeps you in mind
present as the air I breath deep into my lungs,
you are life giving, needed,
cherished, appreciated, and wanted beyond measure.
This Journey we take is long in the making
with pitfalls and obstacles aplenty.
But my heart is unfathomable in the many ways that it loves you
and boundless as the sky in the expanse of what you mean
to me with every waking moment of my life.
Take my hand. Hold it tight.
I am never letting go.
by Philip Wardlow June 23, 2023
I'm forging ahead into the far flung burning like an ember running down a shadowed trail just past the witching hour.
Stars peak at me through the trees as I traverse, curious at my passage whispering amongst themselves at where I might be going.
I would like to know as well, for it's always been a mystery to me, I forge, and I forge, and I forge always wondering where my beautiful failures and successes will take me.
It's mid-Spring and
I'm going home today.
The cool air bites a little this April
but the sun flits teasingly through the trees
as I walk up to her, my home, and
I feel unbelievingly warm inside.
She will be my resting place, my abode, my shelter
she will be there to greet me with a loving smile
and inviting arms and I will embrace
her wholeheartedly.
For a while, I had been wandering on the shadowed trails
of life, but the place in her called to me
like a deep forest magic compelling and
pulling, no force on earth could alter my new path
that my feet found once they knew where to look
for her.
I knocked upon her door, she opened it and grinned that silly grin
and I asked if I could stay forever more
She nodded and laughed, happy as a
soul could ever be.
And I have never stopped loving the home which
I found in her.
by Philp Wardlow June, 12th , 2023 (but really April 20th, 2018)
Step into the EYE... walk into the unknowing. What are afraid of? Delve...delve...delve deep.
Fear is a weighed response to a possible biased outcome of your own forging, fear not that future, for it could unfold into a thousand other delightful experiences.
You will never know though, unless you step into the EYE.
So step, take my, let us both see what's on the other side together.
She is nestled here amongst me,
our energies intertwined
exchanging soft electricity,
nuzzling.
A quiet moment created where space
and time slows,
juxtaposed
with love and longing
amid fears and frailties
that are forever timeless.
She shouldn't have to wonder, nor
should she ever worry in regards
to if we are forever.
But she does, oh she does,
soft and hard she does.
I hold her all the tighter
so she knows my energy is all hers,
pure and bright as the noon day
sun and just as
comforting and warm.
By Philip Wardlow May 10th, 2023
The day’s
doldrums drone
on from dawn until
dusk and the mucky muck
lurks.
An insidious thing
the mucky muck,
pulling life out,
removing all
motivation for movement
as the spirit tries to escape
a maze never seemingly meant
to be solved.
With a thrum, thrum
insistence to be heard, the mucky muck lurks
skulking deep,
latched on like a
fat tick needing
to be pulled out,
cut out, or burned!
Mucky muck leave me be
For I swear, with
sword in hand
I will cut thee
Ain't no rest for the Wicked - Philip Wardlow - The real and the sensual sides to life in all its facets.. 