BadAss Woman Match UP! WRITING CHALLENGE.


Well, the votes are in. I asked my readers a few weeks ago to check out the sixteen Bad Ass Woman of Fantasy and Horror I listed in my Blog to see which TWO they would wish to see in a fight and to find who would win (at least in my mind anyways).  After tallying the  over overabundance of votes from my readers and followers we have a MATCH UP!

Actually I am being sarcastic.  I did not get ONE VOTE from any of my followers or readers to my page. Thank you very much.

I guess BADASS WOMAN are not that  important in the world!  No respect I tell you..Oh well, be that as it may, I promised a fight and I’m gonna give you a fight DAMMIT! Besides this was not only a challenge to my readers, it was also to myself as a writer to work on creating good fight sequences….practice practice practice ya know.

I randomly pulled two names from my list out of a hat for the bout and came up with Ta Da !:  Trinity from the Matrix  Movie VS   Lara Croft from Tomb Raider the game (and movies I guess):  I think  that is actually a pretty even match up considering the rest of the women on the list. So here it goes below!

Rumble in the Jungle:

Trinity leaned back in the soft black leather chair as Neo  adjusted her straps.

Neo came in close and whispered in her ear. “I think you’ll like this program. I made it myself, you might say it’s a fantasy of mine.” Neo  smiled at her.

Trinity gave him a curious smile back but said nothing as she settled into the chair.

“We’re ready Neo, we can go anytime.”   Link said standing behind them next to the control panel.

Neo nodded to Link and  gave Trinity a light kiss on the lips. “Ready?” he asked her.

“Always – I wanna see how good of a programmer you’ve become my dear.” she grinned at him challengely.

Neo shoved the connection port into the back of Trinitys skull…and her world went white.

5 milliseconds later …Loading Training Program 4212.10. Jungle Scene – Sequencing..Overlaying…Initiationing Insertion

Trinity found herself standing next to a slow running stream on a  fallen log mottled with green moss and overrun with  brown fungi clinging to its bark.  A myriad of different trees surrounded the spot she stood, most  reached fifty to hundred feet in the air with a few others reaching higher yet up to maybe two-hundred feet or more  high above the main canopy of the  the jungle she now seemd to be in.   – Dense foliage spread out along the ground forming the landscape at ground level enveloping her in a cocoon of rich green plant life.

After taking in the beautiful scenery, the second thing that struck Trinity was that it was  hot as hell, sweat was all already starting to collect and drip from her. She looked down at what she was wearing and had to smile.

On her feet were a set of sturdy brown hiking boots, light but durable with probably good traction.  A pair of skin tight brown cotton shorts came up just shy of her belly button to ride on her hips, the shorts  reached no lower than mid thigh level if that. A well made sports bra of the same brown color  covered the top of her.  Two highly polished silver semi-autos each with a fifteen round clip were strapped to her on either side of her breasts tucked just underneath her armpits. She also noticed she had two throwing knives  strapped to each wrist as well.

Neo you naughty boy.

Why have you been following me, who sent you?”  a womans voice asked from out of the jungle unseen.  A british woman’s voice by the sound of it, Trinity thought. What is Neo playing it. I”ll play along…for now.

“Just out fishing, see.”    Trinity pointed at the stream as if to say, isn’t it obvious,  and gave the woman where ever she was a wide smile; Trinity thought perhaps twenty meters to her left on an out cropping of rock downriver behind a some dense bushes but she had to be sure.

The woman laughed , “Most people use a pole when fishing. I don’t have time for games, tell me who sent you.”

Got her, Trinity thought, definitly twenty meters up on the cropping and defiinitely British. I didnt know Neo had a thing for British women, she mused.

“Well I’m not most people.” Trinity casually walked over to the stream and watched the water for a moment until she spied what she was looking for. Lighting quick she bent and reached into the stream and pulled out a struggling striped fish at the base of its tail. It was as big as her head, Trinity held it up  for the mystery  woman to see. That oughta impress her.

“I must say I’m impre-” The brish woman voice cut off as Trinity  dropped the fish and spun towards the sound of the woman’s voice and let go with one of the throwing knives on her wrist towards the spot. Trinity’s knife  flew straight and true  and hit dead center into the foliage. She was greeted with a solid thunk as it stuck into wood.

Dammit, Trinity thought,  missed.

Trinity sprinted directly  towards the spot along the stream weaving  as she did so whoever it was could not get a bead on her at a distance. She pulled both her guns at the same time firing as she ran directly into the bush ahead of her.

No one jumped out at her. No one fired at. No one said a word. Hmmm,  perhaps I got her. Trinity  approached the bush and came to a halt in front of it.  Most of the bush was destroyed, leaves hung in tatters from its branches with not much left to speak of to call it a bush. The blade she had thrown was stuck deep into the base of it, but no dead woman behind  it.  Trinity realize she had  emptied both her clips from her guns into the now very dead bush and  she had not been given a single extra clip to replace them from the vast inventory of supplies she had been given. Thanks Neo, love you to.

“Just a fishing eh?” the womans voice now seemed to be coming from where she had been standing before  – perhaps behind that tall  thick cacao tree some ten feet beyond the point.

“Didnt know you needed a gun to go fishing, I estimate you have no bullets left in that gun and only one of those knives left on your person unless I’m mistaken.”  The woman sounded very sure of herself , Trinity thought. She was begininning not to like her very much. Hope your enjoying the show Neo.

The woman who was only a voice until now suddenly stepped from behind the tree Trinity had suspected. She was a fair complected woman with very long dark brown hair done up in a  single braid down her back.  She was wearing pretty much  the same outfit as Trinity but with her guns strapped at mid-thigh but  less the knives and was just as tall Trinity..  Trinity saw she had a small grey metal  cube  in her left hand which she held lightly with her thumb hovering over two buttons and she was very pretty. Neo.

“Now, I will ask you one last time, who are you and who sent you, please don’t make me ask you again.” she said grinning at her.

“PAUSE PROGRAM” Trinity said aloud.  All was quiet.,no jungle heat assaulted her body,  no birds chirped, no branches swayed in the wind high up in the canopy,  the stream was frozen in its bed not moving, most of all the bitch wasn’t talking, she was just standing there not moving. I am not jealous, she told herself she’s just a program.

“Scenery is nice but is this best you can do Neo, a jungle girl archeologist in tight brown shorts and a  pony tail with a british accent?” She said to the forest knowing he could hear her.

“Let’s get this over with. RE-Commence PROGRAM” she said. Sound and movement along with the oppressive heat returned.

“My name is Trinity, and Neo sent me to kick your ass. Satisfied” Trinity said.  Time to try something new even he hasn’t  see me do yet.

She slowy pulled the small throwing blade from its holder on her wrist and held it up to reflect the light through the trees then just let it drop to the ground as if to say to the other woman,  See I mean you know harm.  Trinity concentrated then very hard on the metal of the blade she had just dropped, the look of it , the feel, the weight. She felt it.  Ready. She had a theory she wanted to try now.

She drew both of her guns and and pointed them at the woman ” You forgot about the extra bullet in each of the chambers” . Trinity blinked and the woman suddenly wasn’t there. Just empty space where she had once been followed by a popping sound.

Trinity whirled to her right in a heart beat when she heard another popping sound not far away and fired both her guns. Click with the Hammer on both guns. Nothing and Nothing again.

“You were bluffing, why you little bugger.”  She smiled again at Trinity with that wicked grin she was beginning to come to hate already.

“How are you doing that?” Trinity asked calmly behind her sun glasses as she lowered her guns.

“Aah, a little thing I picked up from a Techie friend of mine, certified genuis really.”  She wiggled the little box she held in her hand.

“It creates an inversion in space-time in a localized area and pulls me into it and pops me out the other side. Kinda tickles.” she said and smiled  again at Trinity.

“It’s kind  of fun, you  oughta  try it”  she smiled again Trinity.

“Thanks, maybe I will.”  The knife Trinity had thrown slammed into the womans hand piercing the palm holding the small cube.

Trinity ran for the woman has she sat clutching her bleeding left hand. The woman looked up and saw her running towards her and went for one of her guns. Trinity did the only thing she could do, and that was to throw one of her own guns directly at her. The woman was good, she had her gun drawn and was just about to pull the trigger before the butt of Trinity’s gun caught her full in the chin propelling back and hard to the jungle floor.

 Trinity walked over to her and shoved her with her foot so she laid faced up. She squatted down and grabbed her by her pony-tail and slapped her lightly on the face.

“Wake up.” Trinity slapped her a little harder. The woman moaned and her eyes fluttered opened.

“Now, I wanna know something . What’s your name?” Trinity asked

“You don’t know? It’s Lara, Lara Croft”  the woman said weakly.

“Well Lara Croft, I’m sorry to say this, but it’s Game Over”  The last thing Lara saw was Trinity’s fist connecting with her face.

Training Program 4212.10. Jungle Scene Concluded – Initiationing De-Insertion – System Purge of Program – Ready for acquisition of new program

Trinity opened her eyes slowly, readjusting to the momentary vertigo sometimes felt coming out.

“She’s back” Link said.

“Well, how did you like my new program I will admit I concentrated more on the visuals than the fighting but it was meant to be a strategic training session more so than a combat one and I had to have the setting just so, and what was that with the knife at the end…I’ve never seen you do that before.” Neo asked looking intently at her.

“I can see you worked hard on the visuals.  But I still kicked the visual’s ass, as for the knife, every girl’s got to have  her secrets now doesn’t she.” Trinity leaned in as if she was going to kiss him, but instead got up out of the chair and walked down  the gangplank to go back to her quarters.

She gave Neo a backwards glance, “You coming, I have to change first, maybe into some shorts, it’s so hot in here”  and then she continued on.

Neo followed after and Link just smiled to himself alone next to his console.

The Whole – A poem about trying to understand your place in life


The Whole

All of us in this world

are made up of bits and pieces.

The failure of a father, the loving

kiss of a mother, the slap to the face,

the hug when most needed, the stomp

to the head, the shove in the right direction,

the mysteries from out of the elusive aether.

Puzzle pieces from an endless box

are continuously being dumped on to our table top

of life that you must pick up

and put together to form

a solid picture from.

Place your pieces carefully one at a time

into the spaces that fit.

Dwell not on the picture you think you see forming,

for it is an illusion, a trick

most dire to the eye and mind.

Your puzzle is not yet finished,

if it ever can be,

for how are we

to ever know

the whole.

when so many

pieces have

yet to be

placed.

by Philip Wardlow

My Endless Climb over an ever Growing Mountain of Rejections


I said I would keep you abreast of my progress in the world of writing regarding my submission for my stories/poetry  to various publishers so here goes.

I have been racking up a lot of rejection letters lately for my writing of my stories and poems.

I received my first rejection letter for my 23,00 word  Novella, “Roadkill“.  that I submitted approximately 60 days ago. One good thing I guess is I got it back early so now I can submit it to other publishers for consideration. Always gotta look on the bright side. The only things that bugs me is all they said was “We have finished reviewing Roadkill for publication and have decided to pass.  Thanks for submitting to us and best wishes.”  I know there probably  busy but they  could they have least  thrown me a bone. Like,  feel free to try submitting again with another story when you are ready. Something like that maybe. Just a little encouragement would be nice.Cmon!

Trouble is I’m realizing that Novella length stories are hard to push to most publishers. They either want short stories from 1,000 words to  15,000 words with the average being accepted being about 8-10,000. There a few out there who to take them but only a very few I’m learning want the Novella Length. They want full length Novels in the 90,000 + Word Count or Short stories period.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not sitting on my hands waiting for rejections on one story. Hell no! I’ve  still been writing new stories and submitting & waiting on rejections for those as well…ha ha. I have  recently sent in a much shorter story at about 3,300 words called “Devils in the Details” to various  publishers. Two have since rejected it. I have just sent it to another publisher just the other day so we will see about that one.

I did already find another publisher  to submit “Roadkill” to so I will be sending that one in again soon; and the countdown begins all over again.

I have submitted some of my darker poetry into various publications with no luck yet as well. One called “Into the Deep Woods”, I think is really good. I am waiting on one online magazine response so we will comes of that.

I am also just finishing up another  story in the  7000 to 8000 Words range that  I will try to be turning into a publisher soon as well.

I am pretty pragmatic about my writing. I know its a long shot careerwise. I do know that all this writing is shaping me into the writer I am supposed to be one day.  I am really trying to work on my prose by fine tuning character development, plotting and scenes along with conflicts that insue in all that goes with it. If anything these short stories help me with that greatly, and besides to create a character and building a new world, for me is a satsifying thing. I want to know what happens to that man who is cast out into a boat in the middle of stormy night on an open  dark ocean. You wanna see what happens to him.

Wish me luck in my endeavors and I wish you luck in yours as well

Sticky Fingers The Movie – Fundraiser


Sticky Fingers: The Movie: THE FINAL FUNDRAISER!

I have a friend who is a up an coming filmmaker who is currently in the process of producing a full length no holds bard animated movie that looks to be a smash. He’s picked up some prominent actors to do some of  the voice overs for the movie. One you might know very well, appeared in Dusk before Dawn, Zombie Apocalypse:Redemption, and many more movies. He goes by the name of FRED “THE HAMMER” WILLIAMSON , and did  I forget to mention  also  a former professional football star.  Please check out the informational link above to the Sticky Fingers Site if you would like to help out in this endeavor.

My Favorite Poem/Quote of the Week


Decided to give you a snapshot and a little insight into where my mind is at, by adding a new category to my blog posts entitled as you can  see above  “My Favorite Poem/Quote of the Week”  . To me that can be a poem I may have run across on the web, or something  I’m currently reading in a book or have read in the past.

One of my favorite poets is Langston Hughes and I thought the following little poem would sum my psyche up this  week.

“Looks like what drives me crazy

Don’t have no effect on you–

But I’m gonna keep on at it.

Till it drives you crazy, too.”

by Langston Hughes

Dung Beetle


Sometimes I feel like a  Dung Beetle,

rolling shit around,

first up one hill then down the next,

then up another hill,

continuously rolling and pushing and prodding

it across the ground.

What is the purpose of this rolling, and tolling

this incessant cajoling

of this excrement that falls into a perfect form;

a sphere of shit?

Well I guess you could look at it  this way

at the end of the day

I get to eat it.

Badass Woman in Horror or Fantasy FACE OFF Challenge


Over the weekend I just saw  the prequel to John Carpenter’s ” The Thing” . ..which I thought was pretty good. In it, there is a woman heroine as the strong leading role (something we don’t have enough I might add)  and that led me to thinking.   What if I compiled a list of at least  ten  or more of the  strongest woman heroines I have ever read about in  literature, be it a book, a comic book, or seen in a movie, or television series and have them duke it out one on one. Then I thought,t how I can involve my bloggers who come to my sight.

I decided I would issue a challenge to you guys.  I would like to write a confrontation between  two of the  Bad Ass heroines listed below, but I would like your help in choosing what two woman to pick for  the fight.  Yes, I know  it’s gratutious violence between two woman – isn’t life wonderful.  So here goes.

Keep in mind these are heroines I have been exposed to.  I am sure I will miss a a few if not a lot you probably know that I do not. So  sorry right now if I miss any of your favorites.

I decided on a list of sixteen woman to choose from. I would like if you could also challenge yourself and come with your own little battle royale.  If you wish to write your own confrontation please respond to this challenge by either writing out the challenge in full in a reply to my post or simply reference a link to your own blogsite showing the challenge in a reply to this post.  Well here goes!  Please PICK TWO of the  Women below and I will simply tally up the votes to see who I will write about before my next post. (keep in mind depending on how the voting goes one,both or none of your two picks may end up actually fighting)

Here are my sixteeen Badass Heroines in no particular order for you to choose from:

Polgara – Legendary Sorceress (Aunt Pol) – Part of the Belgaridad Storyline byh David Eddings. Who was nonense woman who could back up her gruff talk by making you look like a fool by simply willing you into a frog
Number#2 – Alice oh sweet Alice…Definitely a bad ass from the beginning even before she got psychokinetic mind powers. (then lost them) She has single handly killed more Zombies than all zombie movie main characters put together since the dawn of zombidom!
Nymber# 3 Beatrice Kiddo, Some might argue…yes she’s a badass but is she really a heroine..she was out for a revenge. Yes but she knew she had to kill the others in her group first or else they would just keep coming and coming after her. She was defending her way of life her freedoms..that’s a heroine in my book. ..btw loved the Crazy 88 fight..can anyone say awesome!!!
Number #4 Nynaeve al’meara- If you ever read the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan, You will know who I am talking about. She may look all nice pretty, but she will hold you over a cookpot for a Trolloc if you don’t see things her way. She can go toe to toe with the Forsaken and not blink an eye and put the Dragon Reborn in his place..I would stay on her goodside if I were you…:)
Number #5 Ms. Marvel or Captain Marvel take your pick, she’s all woman, and she’s gott tons of attitude. You have to if your surrounded by tons of testosterone with all the male members in the Avengers she has to deal with. But she can back up that tough talk with her fists…and she can probably can go toe to toe with the HULK and THOR at the SAME TIME and not break a nail.
Number #6 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer…if she has a stake in her as she is walking towards you. Then pray you are a not vampire..cuz your ass is basically most asssurdely absolutely dead. She’s definitely a Badass…cmon a teenage girl named Buffy killing vampires on daily basis without breaking a sweat…must look great on a College Application Entrance Essay when they asked how have you made difference in your community
Number #8 – Wonder Woman Need I say more…she can tie me up with her golden lasso in time she wants…Just look at her eyes man..she means business man…I’m shaking right now.
Number #7 Rogue- With but a touch she has you…then your screwed..Villian turned Xman extraordinaire (and I dont mean the one in the stupid movies)…..I’m still waiting for her own movie..Wolverine got one…why not her..she deserves it.
Number #9 Red Sonja – Supreme fighter and cunning intellect, endowned with tremendous endurance and physical strength by the gods.. and by the way boys you won’t be getting any unless you can beat her in combat…guess who’s hitting the cold shower tonight
Number #10 – Lara Croft in Tomb Raider – The one I’m talking about is from the game not the movies. Superb Agility, can run for miles(it’s a video game go figure) dead shot with her guns, looks goods in shorts, and she’s the female version of Indiana Jones +10, btw I love a woman with brains and brawn. (I married one)
Number #11 – Hit Girl – Yes she’s technically not woman, but she doesn’t play with dolls but with bowie knives and katana swords and says balls and shit and fuck more than the crew of the USS Eisenhower
Number #12 Power Girl – Alternate world less Prissy version of DC Comics Supergirl. I keep trying to get my wife to wear this costume for Halloween because she would fill it out nicely. I personally think I would lose every fight to this woman if I was a super villian simply because my eyes would always be fixated six inches below her chin ….it must be one of her superpowers…:)
Number #15 – Xena Warrior Princess…I always thought the princess part softened up her rough edges…NOT…..From her acrobatics, swordplay, to her boomerang thingy she through around at people, and to her occasional almost soft porn action with sidekick Gabrielle I have always loved her. I never could do that yell she does though….Iay Iay Iay! Not even close.
Number 16 – Sarah Connor…”come with me if you wish to live”..forget that shit Arnold..before Terminator 2 was over you wanted her to protect your ass from anything that might chew it up and spit it out…and did you see her doin those pull-ups in her cell and take out that sercurity guard with that cobbled up mop handle made into a policman’s night stock …sure she might be a little unbalanced but aren’t all bad ass woman…just a little.
Ripley- from Alien, Aliens, Alien3,Alien Resurrection….you just can’t keep her down man. Give her a Grenade launching machine gun and she’s set.(or Alien dna) She’s the definition of a tenacious woman..look it up, her face is next to the word in the dictionary
Number #14 – Trinity…my favorite woman in black with a 180 Degree Kick from the floor who can launch herself into a window the size of homeplate from three stories high and come up with guns blazing..and that’s besides looking sexy on a high performance motorcycle while cars and trucks are flinging themselves at her

Letting Go


In one of my of creative writing classes, we would sometimes do 10 min writing exercises where the teacher would pick a phrase and we would have to madly write something for the next ten minutes surrounding that phrase, After the ten minutes were done “PENCILS DOWN PLEASE”  and what you got is what you got….I was proud of this very very very short story and was even prouder when my teacher at the time  decided to read it in front of the class instead of the other twenty-eight submitted stories. I will never forget his words.  “I wish to read this story  by one of your fellow students because I found something in it to be very compelling. You be the judge.”   I am not stating all this to brag just to express that I felt elated that someone liked what I had written and got what I was trying to relate and that finally my  real desire for writing had found me in that moment.

 

 Letting Go

“I’m gonna let go, but I don’t know where I’m gonna fall to?” asked the dirty faced little boy who hung limply from a clothesline in the pitch blackness over a deserted alley some four stories high.

“That’s right Michael” said the other much older boy who hung out the window with one hand in a tight knuckled grip on the window sill and the other on the clothesline from which Michael hung.  “You gotta drop straight down and let us see what you’re made of.  We’ve all had to do it, you won’t be the first,” the boy said in a matter fact tone.

Michael looked up from where he hung at the older boy who had spoken to him, his face and body were hidden in the myriad of shadows the surrounding buildings cast upon him. It seemed to Michael that the shadows spoke to him, the voice didn’t belong to anyone at all just a disembodied entity wanting him to fall to his doom. Michael looked up higher to the stars overhead, his only source of light. He gazed at the nighttime sky, the dancing twinkling night.  He had never noticed the stars twinkle as much as he did this night. It made him ponder, it made him think. It made him come to a decision.

He took one last look, time to see what he was made of he thought. He gave the shadowy boy a nod and let go. Just like that.

He fell for an eternity. His long hair was pulled upward as he heard the rush of air flow past his ears.  The beat of his heart was the only other intrusion upon his senses as he fell. The stars above were lost in a deep blackness that couldn’t be pierced, like falling down a well at night. Thump! He had landed and he was alive. Somehow he was alive.  Michael got up and stood amidst the cheering, hooting and hollering of the other boys that had waited down below. Then he simply turned from them and walked away and never looked back. He did look up though at the twinkling stars.

The End

At my side – A poem


At my Side –

I carry this sword at my side.

It shines bright in the morning light

it reflects.

I have made it so,

for ne’er will you see it pitted or dull

while it lays in my hands.

Ne’er will you not see the blade as

keen of edge as when it was first cast

that fateful day from the folded metal within.

I count it a true companion for you will

ever see it at my side.

More faithful than the rest ever have been

from days forever gone and treacherous roads long

ago tread.

Ours is a pact forged of conflict,

Where we have both stood together

and tasted the promise of another

day as the blood dripped from both of

us to soil the ground beneath.

I will wake and it will be there.

I will live while it still shines,

for we have each other

My sword and I.

 

By Philip Wardlow 2012

This poem is about more  than a sword. It’s about what’s in us all. The will to to fight when hope may be lost but we fight and struggle and continue to climb out of it no matter what the odds. May you always keep your sword close by your side my friends…

6 Things that at First Don’t seem too Scary then scare the hell out of you later!


When I try to think of things in my writing that are scary I often  sit at my keyboard for a moment and think hmmm..what would scare ME  if I were reading it.   Now for me its not the Freddy Krugers, or the Jasons or the Michael Meyers. They never did it for me. To me it was the psychological stuff or the sinister things in nature or the things that cut closer to home that got me scared.

So here are my 6 top things that at first Don’t seem to Scary then scare the hell out of you later!

1.  TREES – You say whaaat Philip? Trees? Really cmon! Think about it.  Trees have been used in so many movies to scare the hell out of children. My first experience as a little kid was ‘Wizard of Oz’  when those fuckin trees  came alive and got pissed off at Dorothy for picking the apples off the tree.  That freaked me out as a five year old! Then there’s the  tree in ‘Poltergeist’ that reached into the kid’s room  and grabbed his ass out through the window and tried to eat him.  Let’s also not forget the young woman in ‘Evil Dead’ that was almost raped by a tree. So yes, Trees ladies and gentleman ..those fuckin Trees.

2. WATER – Now water is one of those subtle fears.  For me, when I first saw the movie ‘Jaws’ it wasn’t the shark that scared me it was the water., 75% of this planet is covered by water and most of it unexplored. You know how much crazy shit we haven’t run into yet in the ocean? Forget Bigfoot. He’s got nothing on all the things in the big blue. Let’s not forget movies like the first ‘Final Destination’, which so eloquently portrayed water as the villian in the story,  Death wanting its just dessert. I never looked at water the same again after that movie. It’s a sneaky bastard…

3. Semi-Intelligent Animals that Stare too Much – Okay, you all know what I’m talking about here. You have a pet, be it a dog, a cat, a bird, or a flipping guinea pig.  There comes a time when your just sitting there minding your own business. Maybe you’re watching tv, reading a book, or even sleeping and you feel you’re being watched.  You look up and you see these eyes staring directly into your soul. Why is it staring into your soul. I don’t know but leave it alone. It’s mine.  I love my pets but I don’t trust  them. Don’t turn your back on them my friend, they are just waiting to pounce…

4. People That  are Just too Nice –  Why is it that I cringe inside whenever someone smiles at me, or acts like they are my best friend after only knowing me for a just few minutes? Is it because I’m anti-social? Possibly, most people do annoy the hell of  me in a short amount of time. But that’s besides the point. It just creeps me out man. How many movies start out with the “nice guy”, or  the “congenial man”,  and you just know he’s the one who’s doing all the killing around town. It’s not usually the town dick who’s doing all the killing, he’s just  the distraction for the real culprit Mr. Green Jeans.  Remember  Norman Bates in ‘Pscyho’, John Lithgow in ‘Dexter’ as the Trinity Killer or the Sheriff in ‘Along Came A Spider’.

5. EVP or Electronic Voice Phenomenon – You would think EVPs would be scary right off the bat, but they’re not I have watched many epsiodes of Ghost Hunters and all the other fly by night wanna be paranormal shows.  Most of these “investigators” can’t recite the alphabet and they are supposed to convince me that they can discover otherworldly phenomenon by asking its name, only to run like a pussy down a dark corridor because a mouse or raccoon was scuffling around in the night.  I have never really  heard  an EVP with a concrete message in it  that wasn’t either garbled so badly you could make up anything you wanted or that is was suspect to contamination by the surrounding idiot investigators. Well my family and I had  had seen enough of these so called professionals. My wife, son and I ventured out to a well known site  where a boy had been killed many many years before and where his ghost was said to have been seen and heard on several occasions.  We brought along a voice recorder for EVPs and a digital camera . Before we went out we established rules of conduct for the investigiation.  The most important was that when doing the EVP no one was to say a word after a question was asked on the recording, That way we would know it was a clean recording for sure and also take note  of any background noise at the same time. Well after our outing we saw nothing on the pictures, but when we played the recorder back on one  of our questions directed to the dead boy, we all distinctly heard “Put that away!”  To this day we cannot explain it. It is not any one of us on the recorder . Creepy.

6. Cute Children who Either Worship Some Creature in the Corn Field and will kill you on site if you’re over sixteen or Very cute kids who have perfectly coiffed blonde hair and glowing eyes with deadly  mind powers or a  young innocent little girl who laughs and is like any other normal girl until she gets possessed by a demon and her head does a 360 spin while buckets of vomit spew from her all the while cussing  like a sailor. (Yeah, I know it was long title for the  last one on my list) –  Basically any seemingly innocent looking child that is evil or turns evil freaks me out…for example the little kid in ‘Pet Semetary’, or even the the kids in ‘Lord of the Flies’ when half of them go postal.  Or McCauly Caulkins as the ‘The Good Son’.  I could go on and on.  Take this as a serious warning more so than even for your pets….watch your kids closely, very closely.

Yes don’t be fooled by this cute face….or it may be the last thing you see.  Is there anyone out there that would like to add to this list above?  Remember it’s the not something that should be obvious right away.

I was gonna add Old People to the list but I didn’t wanna be accused of ageism. 

Remember the creepy old guy in Poltergeist that came to the screen door…or the little old Lady in Legion that jumped like a Amazon Toad on the walls of the restaurant?  Ok you twisted my arm so yeah definitely Old  people also. So here you go  Number 7 below…:)

Sophia Rose

LOVER OF ROPE

Rust.in.the.Soul

Ignorance is bliss / truth is necessary / rust in the soul

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The Emotional Being

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MelDouleur.com

one thousand words are not enough

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journal

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Tigers not daughters

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Hiking with snark in the beautiful Pacific Northwest 2011 - 2013

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Reviews, raves, and rants it's all about the books we read

ReclusiveDreams

a clusterfuck of words

World of Horror

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Elan Mudrow

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Sophia Rose

LOVER OF ROPE

Rust.in.the.Soul

Ignorance is bliss / truth is necessary / rust in the soul

Go Dog Go Café

Where writers gather

The Emotional Being

Realise your innate perfection

MelDouleur.com

one thousand words are not enough

Erotic Yearnings

Erotic Poetry and Stories

STROKE(d)

journal

TheFeatheredSleep

Tigers not daughters

VIVID LENS VIEW

Let Your Eyes Do The Talking...

Awapara Art

A Place to share My Love for Painting, Life, and my Wandering Mind

All Thoughts Work™ Outdoors

Hiking with snark in the beautiful Pacific Northwest 2011 - 2013

Just read

Reviews, raves, and rants it's all about the books we read

ReclusiveDreams

a clusterfuck of words

World of Horror

A cozy cottage for writers and book lovers

Elan Mudrow

Smidgens

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